Final Farewell

It's funny to see the enthusiasm of the new teachers that are arriving. It's hard for me to teach the new teachers the ways of the world here in Korea and keep it totally positive. I want nothing more than for the new teachers to feel amazing about their choice to teach abroad and for them to feel good about the school and city they chose. But at the same time, I am reassuring myself of the choice I made to leave and all the reasons why Korea is not my home anymore.

The naive excitement that I felt about living in Korea is not something so distant for me. It seems like yesterday that I arrived in this place and had a million questions about it and how my new home and job functioned. It is amazing to me to think of the time that has passed and about the fact I am now spending my days teaching a brand new person the ways of my classroom. Its a lot to process, and mostly surreal.

I will miss my kids a thousand times over, but I will not miss Korea. I have loved living here and learning about this culture but my home is in America. I miss the ways and culture of my own home town and am happy about having 1 year here and no more. I am done trying to fit this square peg into Korea's round hole, and am happy to go back to a place where I truly fit in. It is my time to depart and I am happy and content with that realization, finally. I am excited to realize that my home is in a place that I understand the culture and that I speak the language. North Carolina, here I come.

I am doing my best to prepare the new teachers for what they will expereince here and the ways to be successful during this experience, mostly because I am so aware of my own growth this past year. Living abroad again was a fantastic choice for me and has done wonders for my happiness and outlook on life. Tomorrow is my last day at my school, and in a few days I will be leaving Korea and I am really happy about it. The next phase in my life is starting and I am welcoming it with open arms. I have gotten everything I can out of this year in Korea, and my time is now done.

안녕히계세요 Goodbye!

Passing the Torch

Today is my last week in Korea so I have entered the final stretch. I have only a four day week and then on Friday I will be done with my job as an ESL teacher in Seoul, South Korea. It's such a big change that it has my head pounding and stomach in knots. I am nervous about all the different things happening all at once and can't quite find my footing. There is just so much to do and so much to think about that I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction. A big worry of mine was wondering what the new teacher that would replace me would be like. We have a few teachers at my school who I swear are not big fans of kids, let alone teaching, so I was worried who's hands my Kindergarteners futures would fall into. Well today the newbies arrived, and the veteran teacher (me) was told to train them on the ins and outs of my school.

I took all three teachers up to my room as soon as the day started. Throughout the morning my Kinder kids were so quiet and kept staring at the 3 new bodies watching them in my classroom. But after some time, and lots of explaining on my part, the kids loosened up and we got to work. I found myself torn between teaching, explaining everything I was doing, and somehow suppressing my own anxieties about this week of pending change. Things went well and I answered the new teachers hundreds of questions, but it still left me with a pounding headache and feeling totally exhausted come the end of the day. There is something great about realizing your replacement seems like a good fit, but there is also a distinct sting when you realize you are out of their lives now.........forever. The questions begin to pop up:

"Did I teach them what they needed to know up until now?"
"Did my presence in their life truly make a difference?"
"Will they remember me, and if they do what will they remember?"

I can only hope somewhere in their tiny little Kindergarten brains they will know that Ms.Nikki truly loved them, fought for them, and pushed them so that they can be the most successful people that this city has ever seen. I'm passing the torch now, both willingly and reluctantly, as I know my time here is through. But there are no guarantees that the next teacher will see the love and beauty that each child truly holds.

I needed to remind myself today that I can't save the kids I love from the ways of this world. I can't keep them all under my wing forever. I can't hold onto the past when there will be new faces that need my love and support in the future. My hand has been dealt, and it happens to lead me back to the States.

Tums & goodbyes

Today things started finally setting in as I said goodbye to my first class of students. It was my last Friday at work as next week I only work until Thursday, so my Friday afternoon honors class that I see once a week was going to have its final class with me. I didn't think anything of it, as with it being a class I only saw 4 times a month I didn't think it would bother me to say goodbye. But sure enough the nerves and the anxiety set in about an hour or two before the class started and as I walked up to the class at 5:45pm I started to get teary-eyed. I thought to myself, "Get it together, you barely even see these kids!" This is true, and I don't have any particular attachments to any of the children but it is more of the symbolism of what my first goodbye represents that was getting me all choked up.

Coming to Korea was a huge leap of faith for me and it has been such a struggle and pleasure to live here. So the end of this chapter and the end of having a class full of Korean kids staring back at me is a bit hard to swallow. I remember when I first got here I thought it was so odd to not have any American kids in my classes, but now it will be the opposite. I will get home and look around for adorable little Korean kids running up to me and speaking broken English yelling "Ms.Nikki, come look at this!" These will only be memories though. This coming week is the last week I will hear any of that.

So I am going into my last weekend here, ready to celebrate, and feeling nervous and anxious about the enormous chapter that is closing in my life. It always seemed so far off in the future that I would be going back to America, that now it seems unreal to be so close to seeing my Dad, my sister, my puppy, or my city. The nerves have been bouncing around in my stomach all day today but I'm determined not to be sad, but to celebrate the amazing year I have had. So I'm popping some tums and going to keep it moving, because Korea will always have a place in my heart even when I'm not living here.

The weird & the wonderful

When I first arrived here I was just getting a taste of the culture. It's funny to look back at earlier posts and things I thought were so weird that now I am totally immune too. I have to say some of the things that turned my head in the early months still stand out as this cultures most absurd characteristics, but some just seem totally normal now. I have forgotten what my own culture does in some ways, and have become accustom to the Korean way, which sometimes is better and sometimes worse. Nevertheless, I thought it would be fun to recall some of the oddest and most amazing parts about Korean culture in my eyes after a year of living here.

The Weird:

There are these trucks here that have fresh seafood, vegetables, or fruit that drive around with a loud speaker on top of them announcing to the whole neighborhood what they are selling something and for how much. (I'm assuming, as its in Korean.) I will be cooking my dinner in my apartment and all of a sudden hear these loudspeakers yelling through my window in Korean. I will hand it to the drivers that it absolutely gets your attention, but is such an odd way to sell your goods. Whether you want to or not, you WILL hear what they have to offer. Going to a normal farmers market in the States doesn't seem quite as exciting....

The fondness towards alcohol in the business sense is so outrageous to me. Here a businessman has no choice but to go out with the boss and coworkers and get completely blackout wasted with them. Usually this is done over a 'work dinner' and will leave the participants extremely inebriated to the point that they pass out on the street. I can't even count how many times I have seen a businessman passed out on the street or in a restaurant. It's something I can not help but stare at, but other Korean men and women walk right past them like it's nothing. It's even been known for applicants for a job to say how many bottles of Soju they can drink. The more you can drink, the more likely it is that you will get the job. Someone could even get fired if they don't drink with the boss. This is a weird and also sad part of this culture. Alcoholism doesn't exist here, and yet it definitely does. It is basically forced upon employees of certain jobs and they can do nothing but say 'bottoms up'.

I have said many times that I HATE the frequency of being bumped into here. The invisibility that I feel will not be missed when I return home, but is absolutely acceptable in this culture. I look forward to having my space back in the States and hearing an, "I'm sorry ma'am," if someone should god forbid bump into me on the street.

The kill yourself work schedule is one that is so weirdly common here. Everyone from construction workers to lawyers work 50-60 hours and week. This is such a testament to Korea's success in the past decades but gives it's people no time to rest or even be sick. Succumbing to this kind of schedule has resulted in numerous meltdowns this year for me and I will be happy to get back to a mere 40 hour work load in the States.

The umbrellas in the summer that shield Koreans from the sun will be missed, but having to check all make up I purchase and creams for bleach will not be missed. This is both a loved quirk about this culture and a crazy one! I understand the fancy look of holding your umbrella because you are too fragile for sunlight, but why would anyone bleach their face??


The Wonderful:

Korean bbq is one of my favorite meals here mostly because of the experience of cooking your own food. I highly doubt I will be at a table where I am served raw meat again back in the States, but the many times I have cut this meat with scissors are cherished memories for me. Plus you get a sense of accomplishment when its all finished and you can chow down!

 Grown women in bows has been a sight that has always made me smile and laugh. My boss will even come to school in a headband with a big bow on the side that, in the States, you would assume a child would be wearing. It is such a fashion statement here and even I have enjoyed getting into the hair bow fashion trend. I have bought so many cute hair accessories and I'm not sure I can get away with them back at home!

I will miss being treated like a queen because I am a teacher. This doesn't always happen from my boss or even my school, but the parents and other people that I teach are extremely generous and thoughtful because they consider my job invaluable. English is such an important part of education here in Korea and basically ensures success in the future for anyone who can speak it. I am looked upon as though I have this magical gift that others are dying to get a hold of! So they listen, they learn, and they are overwhelmingly grateful. The icing on the cake is being continually bowed too as a sign of respect. I wish teachers all over the world were treated in this manner, because it truly is one of the most important jobs out there.


Seeing many Korean people in face masks has always been a little funny to me, but I'm kind of in love with them. If someone is wearing a face mask then that means that they are sick and I know to stay away from them. Being a bit of a germ freak myself I find this extremely thoughtful as I know to stay away because of their facial accessory. Even at school the kids will come with face masks or scarves around their neck which symbolize that they are sick. At first I thought this was totally crazy because these scarves were like a branding method that screamed "My kid is sick!" But after being sick over and over again in this country, I found them helpful warning symbols for me to keep a bit of distance between myself and that child. I will miss these considerate measures back at home, and the funny different kinds of masks you can see on kids.

I absolutely am in love with the way that little girls dress over here. I have never seen little kids have so much style! The little girls in my Kinder class will come to school in full on princess dresses just because they wanted too. Or they will have fancy spring dresses with big beautiful bows in their hair that match, and of course little girl high heels. Some of my girls even carry purses! They are hello kitty or Cinderella as expected, and I adore them!

My final and favorite wonderful aspect about Korean culture is the dancing. You think Koreans work hard. . . .  well they play hard as well! When I go into a dance club here in Seoul, the moves that so many Korean people are making on the dance floor are amazing. Honestly, you would think they were having some kind of happy seizure because of the way that their bodies pump to the music. I have never met better dancers than I have in Korea. They are totally free to move however they want, and I love it. I can't help but smile whenever I see a young Korean guy moving every part of his body to a fast electronic song. I can only hope I can replicate some of these phenomenal moves back at home.

Oh the weird and the wonderful..... I will miss this place.

Hardwork pays off

I am not the most technology savvy person in the world. I am an idea girl and usually to conquer a task as big as making a website would be an insurmountable feat. But after months of hard work, a ton of prayer, a few good friends, and pure determination I have completed my nonprofits website. These moments of success make all the moments of failure seem worth it. When you conquer a task that takes you completely out of your comfort zone it is something to be celebrated. You have somehow climbed the mountain that you thought would be impossible. The hours of work and the blood, sweat, and tears all came down to this moment.

I am so incredibly proud to announce our website for the Dean Thomas Moinet Foundation:

http://dtmfoundation.webs.com/

This is just the beginning of our organization making its mark in the world. Here's to many more mountains. 

Korea's Independence Day

Yesterday was Korea's Independence Day. I wasn't sure why we had the day off because I actually thought Korea's Independence day was in June, but it turns out that day was a Korean War memorial day. So with my lack of knowledge on the holiday I have been asking around to adults and my kids I teach as to what this day means to them.

I know in the States our Independence day is quite an event. We have fireworks, barbeque's, parties and more. Its a day of pure celebration, time with friends and family, and lots of laughs. But the Korean people sing to a very different tune on their special day. By many it is viewed as a sad day or just another one in the year not to be celebrated. You see the Korean war was just over 60 years ago and the wounds are still very much healing. When Japan ruled Korea there was a lot of torment and bloodshed and the sting is still very real for many Koreans. There was so many heinous things that happened during Japans reign and people are still alive that lived through it.

For this reason there is still much discrimination towards the Japanese people here in Korea. I have been told by kids and adults alike that Japan has never apologized for their actions and this is what hurts the most. This lack of apology seems to say that they do not see any fault in the pain they caused the Koreans, and this is why discrimination is very much still alive here. It doesn't quite feel like old news or even history yet. When talking to many Koreans you would think this happened last week due to the pain and sadness on their face. Some of my kids I teach have told me, "Japanese people are bad people." This hurts my heart a little because some of them are only 10 years old and I wonder if they have made that decision due to their understanding of historical events, or if they have grown up in an environment condemning that country basically creating a discriminatory attitude.

During my trip to Japan I was amazed at the generosity, kindness, and overall respect the Japanese people offered me. They would go out of their way to help me when I was lost or to advise me on fun activities to do. I was welcomed in a way that made me want to go back a thousand times over, and I never once felt hostility come my way when I said I lived in Korea. For this reason, I asked some kids that I teach this week, "Well have you been to Japan? What was it like?" One child answered, "Yes I have been to Japan, but I did not talk to anybody. Japanese people are bad people." So I answered her, "What about the children that are ten years old like you, who were not alive during the Korean War and did not have anything to do with what happened?" Her face did not change, she merely answered, "Well maybe they are OK but mostly Japan is bad." The other kids went on to tell me they never went to Japan but they know that everyone is bad there.  Later on I asked the oldest child that I teach, in a different class, the same question wondering if his older age would give him a different perspective. His answer was, "I think what happened was very bad, and the government was bad and did bad things, but not all of the people are bad. I have been to Japan and it is very nice and the people were friendly."

I sighed a little ounce of relief after his answer because it gave me hope for the younger generation here in Korea to be able to move forward from their countries tormented history. I can sympathize with the mindset of so many of the adults here who either went through the war or aftermath, or know someone who did, so they cannot easily shake off the pain that Japan brought them. Who knows how you can even go about letting such a huge burden go, but I hope the younger generation won't have to carry it. Discrimination, no matter the reasons for justification, just leads to more pain and sadness.

I hope that one day this very special day, Korea's Independence day, can be one of joy and triumph because of the pain they overcame and to commemorate the lives of the soldiers that they lost. After all Korea is a wildly impressive country when you look at how far they have come in such a short time and how successful they truly are, and this is something to take pride in! One day I believe the tide will turn and it will be a day to celebrate all these things instead of a somber reminder of the past.

Water Day

This week we had ‘water day’ at my school. As I listened to the plan for the day I was flooded with thoughts of my own childhood water fun days at my schools throughout the years. I loved these days more than any other because we could truly act like the crazy kids we really were and of course get the teachers wet!

Before I knew it all the kids were in their swim gear and it was not your typical American swimsuits that I was smiling and laughing at. There were swim caps, long sleeve ensembles, goggles, and even a life jacket for one child even though there was only a water slide to go down and he would never be submerged in water! I could not have possibly thought they were any cuter, and began taking loads of pictures to document this fun occasion. My kids crack me up, as they love to have their picture taken and give me all sorts of poses.

Soon it was time for the action and I told them they could get me a LITTLE bit wet. But as we went outside and the madness began I ended up basically soaked and loved every minute of it. I was being squirted by water guns and being jumped on by these soaking wet tiny humans. The kids were having a total blast enjoying every minute of ‘water day’ and didn’t ever want to stop.

By the end of the fun and games the kids were giggling and pleading for more. They had let loose and didn’t want to go back inside the school and learn. But I changed them into their regular clothes, dried their hair with the towels, and even did all the girls hair in high ponytails per their request. I truly felt like I had 7 children of my own, and it was such a sweet feeling. Their joy turned into my own, and it was a great day with some hysterical memories.