Seriously, just hold it

In my house, bathroom humor really gets the laughter rolling. There is just something about talking about bathroom rituals and situations that seems to get my family, and many Americans that I know to become hysterical. Well if any well known comedian, such as Larry the Cable Guy, came to Korea they would have material for YEARS. Let me share with you the inevitable….the dreaded and inconceivable SQUATTER experience.

The Squatter is a toilet found in many Asian countries including Korea. It is basically a toilet that is in the floor and you have to squat and do your business and then there is a little flusher button next to it. Now, for those of you who do not think this would be so bad, let’s get things into perspective. If you ever feel like you need to go to the bathroom, an emergency or just a visit that may take a while, (wink wink) this is not the type of toilet you want to be headed towards. Squatting for any more than a minute really does a number on your thigh muscles and if you must prop yourself up on the ground you are then faced with the fact your hands could be on someone else’s pee…..or worse. Do they give you a courteous handicap bar to hold onto while you squat over this inconvenient excuse for a toilet….NO! There is nada. And go ahead and face the fact that your days of bringing a magazine or newspaper with you are over. There is no way to read it, and no way to even relax while in the squatting position. But best of all, after having your body in this uncomfortable position for a while now your legs or feet begin to fall asleep and you realize you forgot to bring in some toilet paper. YES, oh YES, this happens in many restrooms in Korea. They will put the toilet paper on the OUTSIDE of the stall or even the entire restroom facility and you will be left with nothing. Oh yea, nothing to work with.

Feet going numb, hands in pee, and beginning to become aware of your gag reflex you must now muster up the strength to get UP out of this position. One, two, three, GO! As you try to push your weight forward you ALMOST step in the toilet which you have not yet flushed…..thank God one thing did not go wrong here but you are wondering if you will be so lucky next time. You stare at a trashcan with toilet paper in it and wonder why no one is flushing it down the toilet. You then see the sign, in Korean and broken English, “Put used toilet paper in a trashcan.” This is because the drains in Korea are very curvy so they get clogged very easily. Oh Gosh……….you feel your lunch rising up in your throat as your gag reflex is becoming more and more agitated. You then leave the bathroom stall and a Korean woman about the age of 80 scurries by you to get inside. You wonder how in the world she will ever get up from the squatting position, since you barely made it yourself. I guess there are not any old women with back problems in Korea if they are so quick to use these toilets!

You walk to the sink and are perplexed by the fact there is no soap. You look and look around; thinking that you have a strangers pee on your hands and you must use soap immediately! You watch the other women washing their hands, and you see that it is on a stick. You are continuously amazed by the places they put soap, and you had completely overlooked this strange contraption in front of you. Then you wash your hands furiously as many Korean women around you shuffle by you in a hurry to get to their next destination. How are they not fazed by this overtly uncomfortable bathroom experience?

Porcelain God…..yea, let go of that idea.
 

So I say to you with nothing but hard evidence to back up my claims and nothing but numerous uncomfortable germ-filled moments in my recent bathroom history; “Seriously, just hold it.”

Lifeline

You are walking along the street and all of a sudden you see a woman walking along the crosswalk and she gets hit by a speeding car. The woman lays on the street and people from all directions run over to help her. She doesn't even have to yell for help, but help is by her side in an instance.

Why is it when it comes to physical pain we are so capable of seeing what each other need? A ride to the hospital, a hand to pick someone up, or simply a band aide. Thank God I have never seen an accident like this with my own eyes, but I see people in pain all the time. In our daily lives we see people suffering with numerous tragedies; addiction, disease, and worst of all the death of a loved one.

I began thinking of this as one of the women I work with had a loved one from home pass away this weekend. I do not know her very well to know how this will affect her life in the grand scheme of things, I do not know how it will change her simple day to day, and I do not know anything about her relationship with this person. But what I do know is that she is no different from the woman on the crosswalk getting hit by the speeding car. Just because she is not lying on the floor of my school physically injured doesn't mean she doesn't need a lifeline. To ignore the pain that must be brewing inside of her would be like ignoring the woman who just got run over by a car on the street. It would be like saying, "Oh, looks like that hurt a little, good luck with that." The crowd around the woman would look at me like I was some heartless bitch. (for lack of a better word)

When it is physical pain, we can not simply say "I'm sorry" and keep moving without this kind of reaction from our peers......so why is it ok when it is emotional pain that someone is suffering, to respond in this manner?

People need a lifeline; some kind of genuine act of kindness that helps them to see they are not alone in their tragedy. They need to feel like when they are drowning from deep unimaginable emotional pain that they can get through the other side of the black hole they have fallen into. That someone out there SEE'S them. However you choose to show you care, do so with the comfort and satisfaction of knowing that you are giving them a lifeline. A moment where they feel like their head is above water, where there may even be a glimmer of hope. They may even have the thought that "Tomorrow may be better...." and by the grace of God you have done it.

A lifeline.......please don't let it just be a concept in your life, make it routine.

Over the Rainbow

"Somewhere over the rainbow" comes on in the middle of a Korean folk music out pour while dancing along Busan beach, and I know I'm on the right path here in Korea. It's like a message from above saying, keep looking, and you will find what you need too. Your answers are in every step you take, every place you see, everything you experience here.....you are here for a reason.

When you have had people in your life pass away recently your mind is constantly fixated on the bigger picture. Worrying about silly things like what to wear or some stupid gossip seem completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is what you experience, the things you see, the things you feel and embody that make you feel alive.

"Everybody dies but not everybody lives." Taking time to smell the roses is not some silly old saying that only people who are 60+ still utter. It is a motto to live by. Drinking in the sun on the beach in Busan, seeing a child succeed on a spelling test, savoring a pistachio milkshake or a hot cup of tea after a long hard day are all things to STOP.... and do. If we wizz by these moments are we not taking our lives for granted? After all, it is the little things that accumulate over the days and make up the largest portion of our lives. The big things are far and few between. So why are we so busy and so eager to move along, and not stop to appreciate the little insignificant triumphs and blessings in our lives? After all, they could all be gone tomorrow. So let go of your grip a little and maybe grab a hold of something more permanent.

Big picture, we only have so long. So what are you working so hard for? What are you so busy for?

My goal in Korea is to find hope in the world again. To find the genuine, undeniable, in the midst of anything its still there..... kind of hope. This bitter, unjust, cruel world has stolen that childlike hope from me that used to be a bottomless naive asset of mine. And I want it back. I am already getting answers, filling that void, and continually being reassured that this is the road I need to take. I am going to make a mark on peoples lives here, let people make a mark on my heart, and see the world in all its mysterious glory.  

God makes no mistakes, and I'm excited to see what he has in store for me in Korea.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why, oh why can't I?

The company you keep

I have always been told from a young age that it's all about the company you keep. To choose your friends carefully as they determine a big portion of who you will become and as to your state of happiness. Well, being a psychology major in college I understand fully how vital a part your friends can play in your life. I believe they have just as much influence as your family at times.


When you move to a new country and you are starting over in all areas, including friendships, you very much are not concerned with being picky about friends. You need people to cling on to, especially those who speak the same language and can understand your minuscule triumphs and frustrations. Having the same idea's about life, morals, values, or even interests is very low on the list when the other option is having someone who doesn't speak your language as your only ally.

This weekend I went on a trip with a group of sightseeing foreigners here in Korea. We were going with a group of 45 people to Busan, a port city in the South of Korea. I had been told it was absolutely beautiful and I thought it would be a great way to meet people! Busan was having their annual fireworks festival which is supposed to be one of the biggest and best in the world, so I knew I had to go! I was lucky enough to go with a great friend of mine who teaches at the same school as me. We are like Peanut butter and jelly......great apart, but undeniably awesome together! She gets me, and I get her, and not much needed to be said or done to get us to this point in our friendship. Another girl on the trip this weekend asked us how long we had known each another, and when she was told we only met two months ago, she was shocked. We act as though we have known each other for years.....it's natural and we always enjoy each others company. We are easy going, positive American girls who love to travel and are determined to see everything we can this year.

So we signed up, and left EARLY Saturday morning. It was pouring with rain, so as we got on a bus fit for 20 people instead of 45, we wondered what had changed? We were told many people had decided not to come because of the bad weather. (strike 1) So we snuggled into our seats and went to sleep because the ride was supposed to take 5 hours. Due to the rain we could not open the windows and were tightly squeezed together, and I found myself trying to think of anything BUT the fact I was starting to feel claustrophobic and reassuring myself the walls of the bus were in fact not closing in on me. Due to rain, and heavy traffic, the bus ride in fact took 10 hours. (strike 2) The stop and go was particularly delightful as I was sitting on the seat over the wheel and I could feel every jerk of the breaks and every bump readjusting my spine. But I told myself, 'you love fireworks, it will all be worth it.' By the time we got to Busan the sun was down and we had missed the entire day. We tried to stay positive, until our trip leader announced that due to the weather the fireworks had been cancelled. (strike 3)

Walking up to our hotel room I was in such a bad mood I felt like throwing something against the wall. My poor roommates, including my good friend were trying to be so positive about the night ahead, but I felt totally jipped. Why had I just spent 10 hours on a bus if not to see an amazing fireworks show? Ahead of us was a Korean bbq dinner and a night out on the town, BOTH WHICH I COULD DO IN SEOUL, so I was beyond irritated. I was pushed over the edge when I opened the door to the hotel room and saw only blankets on the floor folded up. I asked my friend "Where are the beds?" and another girl replied in a very matter-of-fact tone "This is the traditional Korean hotel room, they don't use beds, we just lay the blankets on the floor and sleep down there." (strike 4)

A PALLET! What am I, 7 years old having a freaking sleepover? I had no words for her..........none that were kind anyway, so I simply excused myself and gathered my thoughts in the bathroom. Hungry, tired, and frustrated I sat on the tub and tried to find a silver lining. You are in a new city with a great friend and you two always have fun together. I put on my game face, was greeted by her sarcastic silly humor about sleeping on the floor and the night turned out just fine.

Gwangan bridge, Busan South Korea

The next day the point was driven home when we went and walked on the beach. With Busan being a port city its beaches and bridges are a main attraction, so we went there as soon as we got up. As I walked on the beach, jeans rolled up, toes in the water, I looked out into the sea at the Gwangan bridge. It is beautiful and everything, but the thought that popped into my head was "This looks exactly like the bridge I saw in Kobe, Japan." (Akashi Kaikyo bridge) Literally in a photo, I'm not sure I could tell you which was which. Just as I was thinking this my friend came up to me and put her arm around me, and we stood there looking at this bridge together, waves crashing at our feet, having deja-vu. It was her and I that saw that bridge in Japan, and now it was her and I again looking at this one in Busan.

"This looks just like the bridge in Kobe, don't you think?" I said. "Yea it is!" she said.
"You know traveling is all about who you are with....." I said with a smile. She smiled back and we kept walking in the water and dancing to music they bagan to play on loud speakers on the beach.



Akashi Kaikyo bridge, Kobe Japan

So there we were, in Busan, after a crappy bus ride, crappy weather, and what could have been a crappy trip all around. There were disspointments, frustrations, headaches, and numerous changes of plans. We were on the bus the same amout of time we were actually in the city of Busan.....ridiculous right??!

And yet, we were laughing and dancing in the sea, sun finally shining down on us, to fantastic Korean music. If I had gone with someone else, this trip could have looked very different, but it was make it or break it time and we chose to enjoy all that we could.

My Mama was right. It's all about the company you keep..............

K-Pop

Here in Korea, K-Pop is the popular music choice. It is trendy Korean music that I would equate to our Pop music back home. Korean boy bands and girl bands flood the radios and the clubs and always have a few key english sentences in their music. It is so entertaining to watch Korean people try to sing the english phrases because they look totally ridiculous confidently shouting out words that are neither english nor Korean! These nonexistent words fall somewhere in between. They look about as ridiculous as I do when I try to sing their Korean songs and I am TRULY with every ounce of my body and soul believing I am singing in Korean, when I know that I am wayyyy off.

I like to believe I am particularly good at singing a song called "I love you" by a group called 2ne1 (twenty one) as I dance around my apartment confidently 'singing in Korean' when in actuality I don't have a clue. I have no idea what I am saying nor what the song is even talking about. But this does not stop me, nor does it stop others, and music continues to be something that brings all cultures and people together around the globe.

This shows to be a fact as it comes to the global hit of "Gangnam style" by Psy! This is a song that gets everybody off their feet in just about every country and only people who speak Korean even know what he is saying! Does that stop anyone, including myself, from singing along? NO! I will throw in an occasional "Oh" "ah oop go no eyyy say oh" and think I've mastered the language and the song! Of course I can pick up the dance moves better than the lyrics, but who doesn't love a crazy K-Pop singer who has his token english lyrics as "Hey Sexy Lady"!!!?? Classic...and you can quote me on this.....Gangnam Style will be around for a while.

Classic K-Pop, classic good times. 2ne1....Gangnam Style....Let the education continue!

Affirmation, even when there is no such thing....

Although open class was a head ache and exhausting, there was a sweet and extroadinary silver lining. Clear, beautiful, and sweet affirmations for why I am in Korea.

I had a parent teacher conference with the child's mother that I spoke about in my previous blog post. The child who has severe sensory issues, and if in the States would most likely get a diagnoses. (We will call him Taylor to make this post easier.) 

In the conference there was myself, Taylor's mother, and my Korean manager who would translate the conversation. I told Taylor's mother how smart he was and how well he does with writing, speaking, and reading English. He is above the other students and receives "Excellent" across the board except when it comes to his behavior. We spoke about the areas of his behavior that I am trying to work on with him in the class. Although his mother understood most of my English, my Korean manager was translating and began to tell her all that I had said. Taylor's mother looked at me and had a very kind and emotional smile on her face and began speaking in Korean back to my manager. I just assumed she was happy that I said her child was so smart.

My manager then said "I told his mother about the bean bag toy you let him hold during circle time to help keep him calm, and how that has helped him to focus. She is incredibly happy with the fact you are trying to find creative ways to help change his behavior so that he does not get in trouble as much at school."

I smiled....but inside I was baffled.... but in a pleasant way. I was NOT going to talk about the beanbag or any other special behavioral interventions I had tried with Taylor due to the fact that I assumed it would be frowned upon. I assumed that his mother would say "NO SPECIAL TREATMENT, he should be able to sit like every other child!" This is how many parents and Korean teachers approach learning over here, so why would his mother be any different? Why would she embrace the idea of thinking outside of the box to help her child behave? Once I felt her approval sink in I carefully began to unveil my plan for Taylor.....

I told his mother how I have worked with many "busy" children back in North Carolina and some children just need to have things to keep them focused throughout the day. I told her how I did not want to see him in trouble all day, every day, anymore.....and that I was going to continue to come up with creative ways to help him focus on his schoolwork. I told her that my goal is that by the time he graduates in February, I want him to be able to verbalize what he needs, so that other teachers will know how to help him in future classes. Between now and then, I was going to help him figure out what exactly that will be.

Once I began to open up the smile on my face was so genuine and I could not wipe it off. I guess that is what translated the clearest to her. Sure the information went from English to Korean, but Taylors mom knew exactly what kind of teacher her son had. One that was fighting for her kids success in a way others would not....in a way others would not accept. She did not have a teacher telling her about her sons problems with no solution any longer. She now had a teacher telling her about some solutions that are already in place.
Taylor's mom then proceeded to tell me that this is what she liked the best about me. AFFIRMATION. She liked that I was trying so hard for her child and she wanted me to keep working with him. AFFIRMATION.

I basically got approval from his mother to keep mending my classroom to his special needs to enable his success. In a country where special needs are not accepted, recognized, or tolerated, in my classroom...........THEY ARE. And I even got parental permission to do so.....AFFIRMATION.

Open Class

It has been a while since I have been able to blog because we have had "OPEN CLASS" at our school. For those of you who don't know, this is where parents come and observe the classroom by sitting in with the children and watching the teacher and the child to see their progress with learning the English language. The pressure as a new teacher to perform is insurmountable and the continuous "encouragement" we give the children (more like force feeding them the correct English answers) is relentless! We prepare for weeks ahead of time and when the week of open class finally arrives the stress truly starts to pile on. We are told to make sure the children are ready for Circle time and Table time, but to not over prepare them so that they sound too rehearsed. Since they are smart children they pick up on our anxiety and begin to misbehave, and it is almost unbearable as you begin to think of all the ways the day could go wrong. You begin to bribe your children with the promise of candy or cakes if they just behave during Open Class while your superiors and parents are watching intently to every little thing that happens in your classroom. It is the most unnatural event where teachers and children have to act totally natural with a plastered smile on your face.

With this being said, my group of troublemakers did extraordinarily well and I received numerous compliments from the parents. My Korean manager told me that I did wonderful, and once the pounding migraine passed I felt as though I could fly! All the stress and worry was behind me, and my beautiful children and I could finally celebrate our success. Getting back to the daily ritual will be hard, but I have to admit, once a year for this event is plenty for me!

There is no such thing.....

As far as my beliefs go towards if children can have special needs, my opinion does not waver. I know that Autism, ADHD, and numerous other diagnoses cause children to struggle in school on a daily basis. They need to learn in a particular way and certain behaviors are out of their control. If their needs are not met in school then their response is to act out towards their teacher, and if their teacher can not recognize these needs they will read their behavior as something very different. The child is not behaving out of defiance or rebellion, they simply can not stop the impulses their brain is telling them to do. It is a matter of true patience and understanding to be able to decipher the difference between a defiant child and a child who is struggling for other reasons, but it is one that every teacher must ask themselves.

This is a challenge for me while here in Korea. Special needs such as Autism or ADHD are not recognized in this country. I have been told that if a family has a child with Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy that they will hide in their homes and never bring the child out. This is absolutely heartbreaking to me, and seems completely ancient. They also do not beleive developmental disabilities such as Autism or ADHD even exist. It is not a fact I can ignore either, as God has put a child with special needs in my classroom. I could venture an educated guess what his diagnosis would be if he lived in the States, but basically he presents as a child with intense sensory issues, amongst other things. He is a child who will push and run into other children during PE class NOT because he is being bad but because he likes the sensation of crashing into them. (consequently he will have to sit in time out after doing this) He will draw through his workbooks because he like the sensation of ripping the pages and the intensity of the pencil on his paper, not because he hates math. (He will then get scolded for ruining his workbooks) He will continuously move around when he is supposed to be sitting still because he needs constant sensory input, not because he is bored with what someone is teaching. (by doing so he interrupts the lesson so will have to be reprimanded as well!) He is actually the smartest child in my class, but he spends so much time being scolded by teachers he doesn't get to enjoy so much of Kindergarten.

With all of these behavior concerns it is probably hard to imagine, but he is actually one of my favorite students! And since meeting him, I have struggled with the knowledge I know from the States which is "He needs help to succeed, you know how to help him" but then considering the harsh realization that "Once he is out of your class and in a Korean elementary school no one else will cater to his needs, so maybe you should toughen him up." There has been this battle in my head for many weeks now as to how to teach him to help him succeed for years to come. And then, a light bulb went off while I was shopping 2 days ago. I saw a beanbag which was quite heavy in the shape of a bear. It would be wonderful for a sensory child to squeeze and play with as well as heavy enough to be calming for them. I pondered over this purchase for 5 minutes until something inside me said "Go with your gut." So I bought it and tried it out the next day at school. During circle time where you have to sit still I told him to hold it in his lap. He could not throw it and he still had to pay attention and participate but he could hold it in his lap while we worked. And wouldn't you believe it..........he sat like an angel. His hands were busy the whole time, but he answered my questions and did not bother anyone else. He was thriving in his environment. From then on out I decided, "You need to help him figure out how to help himself. Show him what he needs, and he can be successful in the future."

I know America has its problems, but at least we recognize a child's special needs and do not ban them to mental institutions anymore or make families hide in their homes out of shame. We instead teach them and cater to their needs to enable them to be successful in their environment. My hope for this child is the same thing....to teach him to use that extremely capable brain of his to communicate what he needs at any given time to enable him to be successful. If that is something to keeps his hands busy, then FINE. God has sent me this child to change what his future looks like, and even if his own country is too blind to see what he needs, my eyes are wide open.

So......do you like it?

             As long as I can remember I have enjoyed working with kids. As soon as I graduated college I had no doubt that I was gifted when it came to understanding and teaching children. I have taught children from different walks of life, different ages, and varying degrees of abilities. But the one thing I enjoy the most is deciphering how each individual child learns and catering to their needs to help them reach their full potential! There is no greater satisfaction to me than to see a child succeed.

               This is still how I approach my job here in Seoul. Even though the children here are not American, they are still children who need to learn new skills and will acquire these skills through a unique method from a creative and enthusiastic teacher. In the case of my current students they are learning and mastering the English language, as well as other subjects such as math or grammar. Their job as students is much more difficult than the students I have taught in North Carolina, and I am amazed at how much they are able to absorb on a daily basis from my classroom. Their eagerness to learn and desire to show off their English skills is so encouraging to me as a teacher. I know that they are happy to be at school and enjoy our daily lessons. Just like any child, they misbehave frequently but this is not what I will remember after my time in Korea is finished. The joy that I see on my student’s face when they get all their spelling words right is the memory I will take home with me! Those moments are what make my job worthwhile and what I enjoy the most about teaching at LCI. 

               Moving to Korea can be a nerve-wracking experience! But the second I met the wonderful children in my class I knew that I made the right choice to come here. The city of Seoul is so inviting and vibrant which makes me so happy to be living in Korea. I have already made some wonderful friends at LCI and feel like I am growing as a person each day I am in Seoul. I absolutely adore the children in my class, and will have a special place in my heart for them for a very long time. I am not only teaching the children in my classes new things every day, but I am also learning new things everyday because I am in a new country! I guess no matter what continent I’m on, no matter what country or school I am in, working with children always feels natural for me. The innocent love that they emanate makes you smile and laugh every day and I couldn’t picture my life being anything but a TEACHER.

Chuseok

Here in Korea there is a major holiday at the end of September called Chuseok. This is their version of Thanksgiving where they cook for 2 days and spend the whole next day eating it.

They lavish themselves in amazing traditional korean dishes and spread love and joy to everyone they know, being thankful for all they have. So this wonderful tradition continues at school, and the children come dressed in their traditional Korean dress, a Hanbok, and we make yummy sweets and play Korean games.

This year we made "moonpies" which are ricecakes filled with beans and covered in sesame oil. It is pretty good, but the store bought ones turned out a little better than the kids! :) But the creativity of the activity was so fun for them, and they had a blast with it. Then we moved on to Korean games where we arm wrestled, played a bow and arrow game, and a version of hacky-sack. They absolutely loved it and overall the day was full of lots of smiles and great memories!

This amazing holiday spirit was all around the day before their holiday weekend began! I have received many gifts and had a wonderful celebration with my whole school, and it made ME feel so thankful to be working here in Korea!