Affirmation, even when there is no such thing....

Although open class was a head ache and exhausting, there was a sweet and extroadinary silver lining. Clear, beautiful, and sweet affirmations for why I am in Korea.

I had a parent teacher conference with the child's mother that I spoke about in my previous blog post. The child who has severe sensory issues, and if in the States would most likely get a diagnoses. (We will call him Taylor to make this post easier.) 

In the conference there was myself, Taylor's mother, and my Korean manager who would translate the conversation. I told Taylor's mother how smart he was and how well he does with writing, speaking, and reading English. He is above the other students and receives "Excellent" across the board except when it comes to his behavior. We spoke about the areas of his behavior that I am trying to work on with him in the class. Although his mother understood most of my English, my Korean manager was translating and began to tell her all that I had said. Taylor's mother looked at me and had a very kind and emotional smile on her face and began speaking in Korean back to my manager. I just assumed she was happy that I said her child was so smart.

My manager then said "I told his mother about the bean bag toy you let him hold during circle time to help keep him calm, and how that has helped him to focus. She is incredibly happy with the fact you are trying to find creative ways to help change his behavior so that he does not get in trouble as much at school."

I smiled....but inside I was baffled.... but in a pleasant way. I was NOT going to talk about the beanbag or any other special behavioral interventions I had tried with Taylor due to the fact that I assumed it would be frowned upon. I assumed that his mother would say "NO SPECIAL TREATMENT, he should be able to sit like every other child!" This is how many parents and Korean teachers approach learning over here, so why would his mother be any different? Why would she embrace the idea of thinking outside of the box to help her child behave? Once I felt her approval sink in I carefully began to unveil my plan for Taylor.....

I told his mother how I have worked with many "busy" children back in North Carolina and some children just need to have things to keep them focused throughout the day. I told her how I did not want to see him in trouble all day, every day, anymore.....and that I was going to continue to come up with creative ways to help him focus on his schoolwork. I told her that my goal is that by the time he graduates in February, I want him to be able to verbalize what he needs, so that other teachers will know how to help him in future classes. Between now and then, I was going to help him figure out what exactly that will be.

Once I began to open up the smile on my face was so genuine and I could not wipe it off. I guess that is what translated the clearest to her. Sure the information went from English to Korean, but Taylors mom knew exactly what kind of teacher her son had. One that was fighting for her kids success in a way others would not....in a way others would not accept. She did not have a teacher telling her about her sons problems with no solution any longer. She now had a teacher telling her about some solutions that are already in place.
Taylor's mom then proceeded to tell me that this is what she liked the best about me. AFFIRMATION. She liked that I was trying so hard for her child and she wanted me to keep working with him. AFFIRMATION.

I basically got approval from his mother to keep mending my classroom to his special needs to enable his success. In a country where special needs are not accepted, recognized, or tolerated, in my classroom...........THEY ARE. And I even got parental permission to do so.....AFFIRMATION.