I am a good speller

"I am a good speller.....I am a smart boy." Jason repeats to me as tears stream down his face. I hug him and console him, but he is completely overwhelmed with sadness as he got a spelling word wrong today.

This is a weekly ritual that I have with Jason, a loving and smart little boy, in my Kinder class. We have a spelling test everyday in Kinder and I always pray he get his words correct. If he does not, he immediately falls apart and is distraught by his imperfect score. Now, I was a sensitive child when I was younger so I understand wanting to do well and being genuinely upset when things do not go as planned, but sometimes I wonder if it is more than that.

Here in Korea there is such a high standard for children to perform even at a young age when it comes to their education. Children are at school from 9 until 7pm and are learning numerous languages and the parents expect perfection due to the prices they pay for their child's schooling. They discipline hard here, and it is not uncommon to hear a child say that their parents hit them if they don't behave or don't do well in school. When I first was told that I would hear comments such as these it what very hard for me to comprehend, but now I see why people warned me about it. The children will say these kind of comments so nonchalantly and I honestly live in a sweet denial world and act like what they say is not actually happening.

"It makes me sad when my Dad hits me..." is a common one I hear at school. Or "Teacher, when you write that in my notebook, I will get hit at home." Or even, "when I miss my spelling words my Mommy hits me." I can't even let my train of thought go to the place where I think that MY ACTIONS could cause a parent to hit their child (like writing about their naughty behavior in their notebooks). When I ask other teachers who have been here longer what they do when kids tell them such things, they simply do the same thing as me; let it roll off their back and in one ear and out the other. It's simply too hard to let it sink in or think you could actually do something to change something ingrained in Korean culture.

So when little Jason, sweet little Jason, began his crying episodes about a month ago whenever he would get his words wrong on a spelling test my mind went to the movie "The Help." If indeed he was in a home situation where he was being told he was stupid or not good enough for not doing well on his spelling tests, and God for bid he was even getting hit for it, then I was determined to change his mindset. In "The Help" there is a maid named Abilene who tells a little girl encouraging words every chance she gets because her own Mother does not know how to, or simply wont do it. At every moment she can she gets the little girl to repeat these words:

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

So when Jason sees me mark an "X" next to his spelling word instead of a check mark, and his face crunches up and the tears begin to flow I give him a big hug, rub his back, and make him look at me square in the eye. Then I say "Repeat after me.....I am a good speller, I am a smart boy." Although every time he hesitates, or sobs in between words, he repeats back those words and I wipe his tears and he sits down. I figure after so many months of this pattern, he will stop remembering the words he misspelled or any reprimands he may get because of them, he will instead remember my words to him.

"I am a good speller....I am a smart boy."