My girl Tootsie

There are cat people and dog people in this world. There are animal people and people who don't like animals. There are people who know the deep love that your pets can offer, and those that have no clue. In my mind, those who have not experienced the love of a dog (particularly a lab) are totally missing out. I grew up with labs, and everyone in my family is a dog person. I thought the 3 labs that my parents brought into our family as I grew up had shown me the kind of unconditional love that pets can offer. But I honestly had no clue the depth and importance that this love can have until I got Tootsie.

Three years ago, I made a choice to get my own dog as I was in the midst of a time in my life where there was a lot of loss. People I loved had passed away and I was feeling very alone in my sadness, so my Mom suggested I add something to my life since so much had been taken away. I needed some gain to help even out the loss I was feeling. So I began to look online at rescue organizations as I wanted to help an animal in need through adoption. I had my mind set on a small dog, low maintenance, and was leaning towards a beagle. The rescue website I was looking at had 3 different beagle puppies and they were all being shown the upcoming weekend at a local Petsmart. I was so excited and thought I had made my choice, but I had this nagging feeling about a lab mix with a gorgeous brindle coat that I had also seen on the website. I emailed the coordinator of the adoption event and asked her if the beagles AND the little girl lab puppy would be there, and she said yes. A few days passed and I kept thinking about how I wanted a little dog so I needed to choose the beagle, but I couldn't get this lab puppy out of my mind. I had never seen such a beautiful dog as her but I knew she would grow up to be a much bigger dog than I had originally set out for. I spoke with some friends of mine and told them my dilemma, and their advice was 'You will know which dog is yours as soon as you see it.' And they were totally right.

The morning of the adoption event I went with my Dad to a dog show that also had adoption opportunities as well as the chance to see numerous different breeds. I found myself continuously looking at my watch feeling anxious about getting to Petsmart to get to that little lab puppy before someone else did. I told my Dad I would meet him at Petsmart later because I just had to go get her. I had been trying to think of cute dog names for days and could not decide on one that I liked, but while driving to Petsmart as quickly as my Honda would take me, the name 'Tootsie' just popped into my head. I finally got there and rushed through the parking lot to go inside. I had to stop myself from running but I felt so anxious like someone was going to take MY puppy. I got inside, walked over to the event, not even doing a double-take for the beagle puppies who were near the cash registers. Instead I walked straight to a little play-pin where I saw the little girl lab puppy who was fast asleep. I barely took a second to ask if I could hold her, and as soon as she was in my arms I knew she was mine. I walked around the store holding her, petting her, and looking into her sleepy little face. When other people came over to pet her or say she was so cute, I was a little short with them and walked in the other direction, because I was scared they would try to take her from me. Every bone in my body said that she belonged to me.

I told the adoption woman that I wanted to adopt her, and her response was "She's very special to me, so I need to make sure you would be a good parent for her." She proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions and I assured her that I would be the perfect person to become her mommy. So she agreed, and said she needed me to sign some paperwork. I was so scared to put her down, like someone else would take her before it was all finalized, but luckily my Dad  arrived just in time and held her for me. I signed, shopped for dog stuff, and left Petsmart absolutely beaming from ear to ear. She was mine!

I had no idea that day how much this puppy would mean to me. In a time of grief and pain, she brought joy and happiness to my life. She made me laugh in a time when all I wanted to do was cry, and she gave me exactly what I needed to get through each day. Whether it was chasing me around my apartment, falling to sleep on top of me, or playing with me and making me laugh, she provided the kind of love that healed my heart.

That little girl lab puppy that I scooped out of that play-pin in Petsmart has grown up now into a smart, sweet, and spunky lab. The lady from the rescue organization was right in saying that she is special dog. She has not only brought joy to my life, but my whole family as well. There is something to be said for a dogs love. When people fail to give you what you need, when you feel dissapointed and just need to feel loved, somehow your dog knows what to do to make you feel better. I have cried my eyes out with her next to me licking the tears off my face. She would do it so much that I would eventually stop crying and just start laughing and playing with her. It's that, the comfort that a dog can offer that is totally different than what your friends or family can give, that sometimes is so much better. The genuine, innocent, whole-hearted love that they offer is the remedy for whatever is ailing you.

Tootsie put my heart back together when it was broken. She made the impossible possible by making me laugh and feel joy in a time of sadness. She was my lifeline, my calm in the storm, my silver lining. I miss her dearly, love her more than words can say, and can't wait to see her again when I get back from Korea.
 

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl, Tootsie. Mommy loves you.

Jeju Island, Day 2

 As I have already stated, Jeju is gorgeous. On my second day there I continued to be awed by the amazing sights in nature that I got a chance to witness. This was my day full of waterfalls. I went to three waterfalls by the end of the day, and some of them had more than one breathtaking view to be adored! I have personally never seen a waterfall of this magnitude. I mean a nice river running over a few rocks, sure, but rushing water crashing over cliffs, no way.

The first waterfall I went to was Jeongbang Falls. This was such a powerful waterfall and happened to run into the ocean. So not only was the waterfall beautiful on its own, but it was on a beach with black rocks, cliffs alongside it, and ocean views!

You can't quite fathom that kind of beauty until you see it, feel it, and truly experience it. So I did just that! I got up close and personal with the waterfall, as I climbed over rocks to get a better feel of the waterfalls power. I felt the mist come off of the rushing water and listening to the soothing sound of the falls. I of course had an awesome photo op, took pictures for others around me, and took time to soak up the gorgeous view.

Next I went to Cheonjiyeon Falls. This waterfall was really nice also but compared to Jeongbang it didn't compare. But it was in a very different setting as it was surrounded by huge trees and lush green mountains.

After that I took some time to relax on the beach and eat some lunch. It was somewhat of a dreary day but the beach still was beautiful. I can only imagine how packed it would be mid-summer, and have heard rave reviews of how nice the beaches can be in Jeju.

After hanging out there for a bit I ventured to the last waterfall. This was Cheonjeyeon Falls. This one made me particularly excited because there is a famous bridge called Seonimgyo bridge that you needed to cross to get to the falls. This is a gigantic, strong, and beautiful bridge. I have never seen golden gate bridge but I hear it is a place that you just can stare at because of the strength and beauty it portrays. There is something so intense about bridges, as they can hold so much weight, yet seem gentle in their beautiful architecture. It's an oxymoron, the strength and yet gentleness of a bridge, that can take your breath away. This one imparticular was remarkable because there was huge white angels which looked as if they would fly off the red structure towards the heavens at any moment.

We walked across this incredible red and white bridge towards the first location near the waterfall. We were amazed to see it was a standing pool of water that is surrounded by sharp rocks that are mirrored in the water. They are so perfect in their similarity that it is as if they were carved specifically that way to make a breathtaking surrounding for the teal water below.

This sight was too magnificent to just look at.... so me and my friend got in....we couldn't read the caution signs in Korean anyway, so we didn't really know the rules. ;) Sometimes you just have to become a part of the action, and get your feet wet, literally.

We then walked downstream to the actual falls which were absolutely huge! They were much wider than the previous falls we visited, making it a totally different experience. We weren't right in the action feeling the mist come off the water like we had earlier that morning, but the beauty of this one was just as moving. I couldn't believe how different it was than the waterfalls I saw previously, and yet how all of them made me feel so close with nature and so in tune with the beauty this earth holds.

I ended the day with a quick bite to eat and then got on the bus to head back to the airport. My stay was full of nature, God's green earth, delivered in so many different ways.  I experienced nature in an entirely new and unique way, and these sights that filled me with hope and inspiration will be permenantly engraved in my mind forever. Whether it's moments, people, or sights you see around the world, some things are just too beautiful to forget.

Jeju Island, Day 1

 This past weekend I had the pleasure of going to Jeju Island. It is known as "the Hawaii of Korea" because it is so naturally beautiful. I had heard of the amazing places this island had to offer but was in no way aware of the distinct beauty that I would encounter once we began exploring.

On the first day we saw a lava cave, a mountain with a huge crater inside of it, saw numerous cliffs with black beaches beneath them, and mountains coming out of the sea. One sight after another made me speechless, and all I could think was that these are places of hope. When you see such beauty you can't help but feel rejuvenated, hopeful, and inspired. On the simplest of streets you would see huge bushes of hydrangeas both in purple and in a deep blue. Something like that, which I do not see on a regular basis, calls for a moment of admiration. The beauty was majestic and miraculous, and as the day continued on and I got to experience more of this islands wonders. I felt more connected to nature than ever before. These sights were not man-made either; they were totally God's creations. The beauty only He can create was all around me.

First we went to a place called Ilchulbong Mountain.

 We climbed to the very top, which was a pretty steep climb, but once we got to the top it was incredible. We learned that once upon a time, water had gathered inside this mountain and pushed it's way upward creating a "hydro-crater." I have always been aware of the power that water can have due to the numerous hurricanes that hit the east coast back in NC, but this was a whole new understanding of it. The water was so intense it changed the shape of the mountain.

 I didn't quite know how to wrap my head around the history of the mountain and the beauty that it exuded, so I just sat at the top staring into the crater. You could see ocean, cliffs, and islands around us as you looked in each direction also.

After a little while admiring the mystery of this place, we climbed down.  Needless to say it was a steep climb and not one to be done by those with a fear of heights. But if you can get past the fear, it's worth climbing as I'm sure there is no place in the world like Ilchulbong.

At the bottom we were surprised by the gorgeous view of cliffs on one end of the mountain. There's just something about the harshness of the rock on the cliffs against the softness of the ocean waves hitting the bottom of them. It's breathtaking.

 We traveled onward to a place called Seopjikoji. Here we found a black sand beach which in actuality was a black rock beach. This is apparently due to the volcano on the island which has made these black rocks that look like huge pieces of charcoal. It may sound like it isn't worth seeing, and is a little bizarre, but it it just so unique. I was so happy to get to see what everyone had told me about that I found myself running on the rocks, hopping from one to the other, feeling totally excited like a little kid.

I walked along a path that lead up a hill away from the beach. I was amazed to find that the black rock beach was not actually the main attraction.

 There were cliffs at the end of our path that lead to a gorgeous mountain coming out of the water. The intensity of this place is hard to grasp as it is such a phenomenal sight. The bright green landscape against the black rocks on the beach, which then meet the white and blue colors of the ocean crashing into them, is nothing short of stunning. It was a place of peace, a place of hope, a place of utter beauty. It was nature at it's finest.

After some time at this wonderful location, we headed back to our hostel as we were exhausted after a day of amazing sightseeing. In Jeju it is very difficult to get around as the bus system is not frequent like in Seoul and there is no subway system. Also many people do not speak English so navigating this island was a major task. We had heard that raw fish was something that we must eat while in Jeju, so we asked our hostel manager for some guidance as to where we should go. Just like many of the situations we had been faced with when trying to get around, something was lost in translation. He accidentally lead us to the fish market and not a restaurant. So we googled places and had no idea where to go. Finally we found a cab driver who knew sashimi places and he took us there. We were happy to finally find a place after almost an hour of being lost so we sat down on the floor in this traditional Korean restaurant with our fingers crossed. When I looked at the menu I realized that meals would cost about $130 dollars for two people. I didn't know what to do, or how to feel, as I have never paid $70 for a dinner in my life! But it was this or not eat, as who knew if we would ever find another restaurant if we left. 

So we threw caution to the wind, and ordered the expensive sashimi dinner. My friend and I were optimistic about this meal as everyone looked like they were really enjoying it around us! Little did we know that our food would be so fresh that it would still be moving when it got to the table. Our first and second course was full of little plates of sides like salad or shrimp, and then a huge plate of raw fish.

 I started to get a little anxiety when I realized some of the sashimi was not de-boned and still was bloody. Then I poked this piece with my chopstick....

 ....and it moved!!!! I looked at my friend in shock at the fact they had served us something that was moving! Did people actually eat this? Was I supposed to dig in with an excited spirit? In horror I realized I was paying $70 for a meal I could not even eat! Finally I just started laughing at the circumstances leading up to this ridiculous moment. Our weekend may have been full of beauty, but it also was extremely challenging due to the fact we were so unfamiliar with the location and could not speak Korean. Everything was quite difficult to get done, and ordering this meal was looking like another moment of frustration.

Luckily I was incorrect as 3 more course of totally edible and delicious food arrived.

 The day had been full of amazing sights and we ended it with a totally full belly full of Jeju fish. We ate fish in every form it could have come in; raw, fried, grilled, in a soup, and hot and cold. It was ridiculous the amount of food that came to our table, but it was tasty and quite the experience! My first 5 course meal was on Jeju Island and was a total happy accident. The weekend was turning out to be one to remember, and it was only Day 1!

All I need in this life

Living a life for the Lord can be very challenging. It is the most rewarding choice I have ever made but it doesn't come without its difficulties. Others do not understand your decisions, don't understand the foundation of who you are, and criticize the path you take. It used to be very frustrating for me as I wanted to make everyone happy around me, whether that was my family, friends, or coworkers. Somewhere along the road since I made this decision I have been blessed and burned by those around me causing me to change my point of view. These valuable lessons caused me to get smarter about my approach to life. I know now that you can't expect the people around you to understand where your coming from, and you can't get mad at them for not understanding. I also learned that you do not owe anyone an explanation unless you choose to give it. I learned that you don't have to count on others to commend or encourage your choices, as that expectation can lead to intense disappointment. The kind of disappointment that can make you question yourself and the path God is trying to lead you on. I learned that the only one I should look to for guidance and approval for my decisions is God. He is the only one I should strive to make happy through the way I live my life. His word is my blueprint and my outline for navigating this lifetime in the right direction, and making it as full of love as possible.

If I listened to every friends advice here on earth it would not only conflict with one another, but it would most likely steer me in the wrong direction. Our time here is precious, and we are all flawed and make mistakes daily. So why put the fate of your valuable time into anyone's hands but God's?  Time is fleeting and we will be on our deathbed in the blink of an eye, so don't you want to get it right? Each day, each choice, and each decision? Your best shot at this is seeking God's guidance in every step you take. We are all clueless when it comes to the right way to live our lives, and whether a decision we will make will help or hurt us. We all have "what if's" and "I wish I would have's", so what makes you think looking to your equally clueless counterpart, no matter how close you are with them, will somehow give you the answers you've been searching for? If you want wisdom you must look to the heavens for the answers.

I've also learned that confidence is not an earthy gift. If you look to those around you to approve of your actions you will always find someone who disagrees. Everyone thinks differently and lives their lives differently, so why would their answer necessarily be right for you? These disagreements can cause you to question yourself and plants seeds of doubt in your heart. Both strangers and loved ones  will say hateful things, criticize you, and break your heart. So if you depend on others compliments, comments, or approval to be what gives you self worth then you will always battle with self-esteem issues. Your closest friend or family member will burn you and tear you down in your lifetime even if it's an accident. Things happen and the tears screaming of doubt and disappointment will stream down your face.

The only one who doesn't let you down is Jesus. So putting your self-worth in His hands will lead you to a place of peace and reassurance. You stop worrying how you look to the outside world, and how the ways of the world say you should act or behave. Instead, the foundation to your confidence is that God loved you so much that he sent His son to die for you on the cross. You don't get much more uplifting, humbling, and encouraging than that. That knowledge, once you choose to embrace it, makes you feel incredibly special and loved. If I was given that much love by my Lord and Savior, then I have no reason but to be confident. He sees something in me that is great and wonderful. This is a constant in the Bible, how much we are loved by the Lord. So why in the world would I be seeking approval from those around me? Why would I put my self-worth in their hands? I've already got the ultimate kind of love running through my veins which gives me all the confidence in the world. I can climb mountains, I can break through walls, I can do anything with the confidence that he instills in me. 

I choose to live my life how the heavens call me to do so, not how my neighbor tells me I should. I get my confidence, self-worth, and guidance from the one who made the oceans and the desserts. He made the waterfalls, the mountains, and he made me. This love is all I need to get through. It is all I need to be happy. He is all I need in this life.

 

Many Hats

These days I have found myself incredibly busy. I am still the full time teacher who wants to make a difference in many beautiful Korean children's lives, but I am now entering the exit period of Korea. For this reason I now have more hats than just 'teacher' and more motivation to make my worldly dreams become a reality. 

One of those hats is the 'breadwinner' as I am trying to save as much money as possible and earn it however I can, so that I will be ready to invest it into my nonprofit when I get home. I also have the hat of 'world traveler' because I am trying to prepare plans and iron out details for my trip of a lifetime; a trip with my Mom around Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand. For this reason I am trying to work out religiously each week so I can be ready for whatever happens on my trip around Asia. We can call this the 'gym addict' hat. My theory is, if I want to climb a mountain in a gorgeous area of Vietnam or Thailand then I want to be able to do so. Do I think I will want to? Probably not, but I don't want something silly like the shape I'm in to be my reason for passing up anything cool while traveling. With myself only having 10 weeks to go until my last days as a teacher here in Seoul, I also am trying to see places here in Korea that I have not seen, but want to before I leave. We can call this the 'bucket list' hat as I am working hard to cross a few things off. This is precisely why I am going to Jeju this weekend (a Korean version of Hawaii) and trying to head down to the beaches of Busan in July. I also will have to get things ready for my departure, such as sorting things out at home and packing up here. This is totally my 'Sayōnara' hat. 

So much to do, so little time.

The hat I am most excited about starting to wear and really rock out these last few months is the 'Executive Director' one for my nonprofit. I am doing research, preparing information for board meetings, and working on our official website. I found myself on the bike at the gym, spinning my heart out and highlighting books about starting a nonprofit. I am wholly utilizing my time here in order to make the next few months really count, so that when I get back home I am ready for whatever path God leads me to. 

Things have changed so much since my first 6 months here when going home seemed like it was years away. That was a time that Korea was so new, and everything around me demanded me to learn about the place I was living in. This meant learning some Korean, finding a local grocery store, clothes to wear, and experiencing everything cool and different that the city of Seoul had to offer. I am no longer in this phase, as my eye is only on the goals to be achieved. August 31st is approaching rapidly and I am experienced and happy with my time here in Seoul. I am not a newcomer any longer searching for answers. So I am willing to spread myself a little thin to be able to complete what needs to be done both for my summer in Korea to be rewarding, but more importantly for my life back in NC to be even richer.

There are times to relax and times for action. Now is time to get busy because I have gotten what I needed from this place. Now I need to let all the experiences that have inspired me, helped me to grow, and pushed me forward to be applied. It's now or never, and never is not an option. I'm stepping up to the plate, I'm taking my stand, and I'm changing my life. If I want my life to turn out a certain way I can't just sit back and pray for those things to come to fruition. Prayer needs action, and has no time for doubt or fear. I am moving into the final phase of Seoul-life and that means I've got to dig my heels in and finish the job. Well I'm going out strong by putting meaning and memories into these last 2 months by doing so much more than just living my life here. I'm going to be living enough for 2 lives; Ms.Nikki in Seoul and Ms.Nikki in NC. No time to dilly-dally. Like I always say, "What are you waiting for? Come on, make moves."

I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waitin,

To wake up one day and find,

that I let all these years go by,

wasted.

I don't wanna keep on wishin, missin

The still of the morning, the color of the night

I ain't spending anymore time 

wasted.

Trip of a Lifetime

To travel is to enter a world of the unknown and to embrace a new adventure. It's a chance to be surprised, to be inspired, and to escape the world of the familiar. Which lets face it, we all need this every now and then. Whether you are traveling to a new State or to Southest Asia, the possibilities are endless. What will you learn? Who will you meet? What will you experience? The food, the sites, the culture.... it's all so exciting and rich. What will you gain by taking this leap into the unknown?

Hope

 Unimaginable memories

 Fears conquered

Clarity

 A worldly view

 Peace

. . . . And some major R & R

 

 Can't wait for my trip of a lifetime to all of these amazing places with my Mom in just over 10 weeks! Can't wait to have some more hilarious and unforgettable memories with you on this side of the world Mama!

The hero in every father

In one of my classes at school we are studying a book about the Heroes of Sports. Some of these are Magic Johnson and Bethany Hamilton who have faced adversity and surpassed all odds against them. I am truly inspired by some of the people I have read about in this book, but I look at heroes in a different way. You don't have to do miraculous things to be a hero. Sometimes you just have to do whats necessary with a smile on your face and kindness in your heart. Some people are dealt a terrible pile of cards and still in the midst of their trials find a way to be selfless. Sometimes you have to be exactly what your family needs when they need it, and protect them and love them no matter what. That's pretty heroic to me.

My french grandpa, Pepe, was an extremely compassionate and selfless man who was always running around after my sister and I when we were young. I'm sure the same story is true for my Dad as that was his son, let alone his two grandchildren who never slowed down. As a child you have an infinite amount of energy, and somehow my Pepe kept up with us. He would slide with us down the huge twisting slides at the park, or push us on the swings, or run after us as we played hide and seek. With me being such a playful child I wanted all his love and attention, and my sister having such a sassy personality demanded for it too. Somehow, he gave us both exactly what we needed. He was my favorite grandparent, because it seemed like he never wanted anything from me except kisses and hugs. He never asked me to pick up my shoes, or eat a certain food, he just endlessly loved me. He never complained. If he was tired, he never let on. He wanted us to be happy, every second we were with him, so he played and played. He let us jump on his back, mess up his hair, and have piggy back ride after piggy back ride. This was the beginning of me getting to see my Pepe's amazing heart that was full of such rare compassion and love that never faded.

I like to think that this is where my Dad got his playful spirit also. When my Pepe was not around, my sister and I still had that ridiculous amount of energy that never subsides during childhood, and my Dad filled the need of a playful counterpart. He would let us climb on his shoulders in the pool and throw us off of him. We would scream, "Daddy again, again!!!" He always complied until my Mom made him take a breather. Now thinking back, this may be why he has had to have shoulder surgery over the past few years. :) Nevertheless, he would work so hard providing for our family during the day, and still somehow have energy to play with us whenever we asked. We would always watch cartoons together, including Curious George. This happened so often that he called me George for a number of years while I was young. I loved the nickname, as it felt like something special between me and my Dad. I was such a Daddy's girl and loved giving him huge hugs and hearing him say, "Who loves ya baby?" I would take in his scent of Aramis cologne and become overjoyed when he would make us dinner. This is a funny memory as my Mom is the cook in the family, but my Dad would always give us the junk food or make us exactly what we wanted no matter what. Often this was macoroni and cheese, or a TV dinner which I absolutely adored. After all, he loved to make us happy and so he treated us every now and then even if that meant we couldn't tell my Mom! And isn't that what Dad's are for? Helping their kids break the rules sometimes, with silly little things, and saying its a secret? This inevitably made him the most awesome Dad in the world to me!

Even when we were growing up in my apartment complex he was always the coolest Dad because he would throw us down snacks and drinks from our 2nd floor balcony so we didn't have to go back inside. We would be outside all day long playing with friends and he would yell my sisters name or mine, and then follow it up with "15 minutes until dinner!" There are numerous memories I hold from my childhood about my Dad and my Grandpa that truly warm my heart as I think back on them.

Now as my sister and I hit our teen years it was no picnic for anyone in our family. My Dad gladly let my mom handle the whole puberty situation and girl drama that would happen on a daily basis. My Mom was usually the go-to person as I myself was becoming a woman, but my Dad still had a critical role in my life. He encouraged me and built my self-esteem the way a teenage girl needs it. He would tell me I was beautiful, smart, and all around perfect all the time. He never said anything negative about my appearance or personality. He only ever came down on me when he had to because I broke a rule or law. (haha...well not quite) But no matter how angry I would be at him for grounding me or giving me extra chores, I knew he did it because he loved me. If he didn't he wouldn't have cared enough to even make rules in the first place. No matter how long his hours were during the week, or how crappy his day was, he still would walk into the house and say to me "hey beautiful" and then walk over and kiss my Mom. He probably didn't realize it at the time but he was teaching me how much I'm worth as a woman, and how a husband should treat his wife. When my Dad would come home with flowers or a candle for my Mom, or do something out of the blue to show his appreciation for her, I truly noticed how love and marriage needs to work. We would joke as kids that my sister and I would never find a husband good enough for us because my Dad had set the bar so high.

As I grew up my Pepe continued to be the kind and compassionate man that he was when I was a child. He was selfless even when he was battling cancer, 8 different cancers to be exact, and would fight daily for his health. He would walk miles before the sun even came up to try to help his health situation, and do whatever the doctor ordered. I remember waking up one morning at his house and he was incredibly cheerful as always. He was singing a french song in the kitchen, and making crepes for me and my sister. He told me he had already walked his 2 miles and had been up since 5am. I looked at him in amazment and blurted out "Why do you do all that Pepe? That's so much work!" He replied very matter-of-factly in his french accent, "Because I want to see you girls grow up." At the time I was too young to quite fathom the weight of this statement. Instead of being truly touched and running into his arms for an embrace, my teenage self said "Yea, that's true" and proceeded to wonder how long it would be until those crepes were ready.  He would say things like this with such a genuine tone in his voice, that I never questioned the truth behind what he told me. Whether he was telling me about the weather or his life back in France, he was always so kind and honest in his words. Even when he was in Hospice he was asking the nurses "How are you" and caring about their lives. Who is that nice? Who can be that selfless when your that sick? To this day he is the most loyal, trusting, and selfless man I have ever met.


In every father that steps up for their family there is hero. The father who bites the bullet working a job he hates to provide for his family is a hero. The father fighting whatever cancer get's put in his path to stick around for his family is a hero. The father who adopts a child, teaches his daughters self-worth, or works on his marriage to keep it together is a hero. The father that plays with his kids until every muscle in his body aches is a hero. The father who wakes up at 1am to put out presents from Santa, who buys tampons, and who pretends not to notice that his little girls are growing up is a hero. The father who sticks around, rises to the challenge, steps up when it is needed, and still is a part of their child's life even when they are miles away is a hero.

To my Pepe, my Daddy, and the other fathers out there who have done this and more, thank you. 

Happy Fathers Day.

Here's to you Trista

There are some people in your life that just get you. I'm talking even the stupid things you say, the neurotic freak outs, and the serious meltdowns. This of course goes hand in hand with the laughing so hard your crying moments, the smiling until your cheeks hurt, and the 'I'm so happy I'm dancing in the middle of the street and I don't care' moments. I have had one friend like this in my life before and I felt very lucky to have found her....but since distance and life pulled us apart I never really thought I would find another. Well, here in Korea in the most foreign of circumstances God filled that space for me. He brought me a crazy, living life, honest, and compassionate girl from New Orleans.

She has been my sense of security, my source of laughter, and my go-to person when life was too hard to swallow. When no one else was laughing in the room, I would look at her and she would be laughing right along with me. She got me and I got her..... no need for explanations, no need for conversation. Half the time a simple look would convey all she needed to know or all I needed to know. Like I said, some people just get you, and no matter your differences you are completely the same. You fight for each other, you are loyal to each other, and you don't have to ask when you need help. It's just there.

No matter how many worries or doubts I had about friends before my move to Korea many of them have been completely washed away due to this New Orleans sass-machine. She has convinced me that this world does have amazing people still left in it, and that trusting people is sometimes worth the risk. She has always shown up, and it has always surprised me. I'm not used to having such good friends in my life, and it changed the way I viewed the idea of friendship. Her goal was to restore my faith in people, in girlfriends, and to make me see the point in opening up to others again. Well, someone give her an award because she accomplished the impossible. I believe again, and I see that the risk is totally worth it because of how amazing it has been to have a great friend like her by my side. I have no idea how to fill the gap that will be there once we are no longer in the same city, but I now have a desire to figure it out. I have a desire to meet more people, and let them in, and see what it feels like to let people close to me like I did with her.


Some people are just too good to lose touch with and I know she is one of them. I believe her when she says she will stay in touch and I have hope for finding close friends again wherever I end up living. The first best friend I had in my life is no longer present, but I believe that this one will always be around no matter what previous cards I have been dealt. She's broken through every other assumption I have put forward and proved me wrong, so I will let her continue the trend.

Here's to dance parties, awkward Korean twister, passing notes, dress up parties, and UN nights. Here's to trips around Asia together, North Korean empty threats, throwing paint on each other, and nights of watching WWE in my room. Here's to VISS our subway store, eating more dakgalbi than we should, channeling our inner wedding singer, and Kim our favorite Korean country bartender.

Finally, here's to making new memories in the States....they better get ready for what's coming.

Friends from day 1.

Love you Trista.