My girl Tootsie

There are cat people and dog people in this world. There are animal people and people who don't like animals. There are people who know the deep love that your pets can offer, and those that have no clue. In my mind, those who have not experienced the love of a dog (particularly a lab) are totally missing out. I grew up with labs, and everyone in my family is a dog person. I thought the 3 labs that my parents brought into our family as I grew up had shown me the kind of unconditional love that pets can offer. But I honestly had no clue the depth and importance that this love can have until I got Tootsie.

Three years ago, I made a choice to get my own dog as I was in the midst of a time in my life where there was a lot of loss. People I loved had passed away and I was feeling very alone in my sadness, so my Mom suggested I add something to my life since so much had been taken away. I needed some gain to help even out the loss I was feeling. So I began to look online at rescue organizations as I wanted to help an animal in need through adoption. I had my mind set on a small dog, low maintenance, and was leaning towards a beagle. The rescue website I was looking at had 3 different beagle puppies and they were all being shown the upcoming weekend at a local Petsmart. I was so excited and thought I had made my choice, but I had this nagging feeling about a lab mix with a gorgeous brindle coat that I had also seen on the website. I emailed the coordinator of the adoption event and asked her if the beagles AND the little girl lab puppy would be there, and she said yes. A few days passed and I kept thinking about how I wanted a little dog so I needed to choose the beagle, but I couldn't get this lab puppy out of my mind. I had never seen such a beautiful dog as her but I knew she would grow up to be a much bigger dog than I had originally set out for. I spoke with some friends of mine and told them my dilemma, and their advice was 'You will know which dog is yours as soon as you see it.' And they were totally right.

The morning of the adoption event I went with my Dad to a dog show that also had adoption opportunities as well as the chance to see numerous different breeds. I found myself continuously looking at my watch feeling anxious about getting to Petsmart to get to that little lab puppy before someone else did. I told my Dad I would meet him at Petsmart later because I just had to go get her. I had been trying to think of cute dog names for days and could not decide on one that I liked, but while driving to Petsmart as quickly as my Honda would take me, the name 'Tootsie' just popped into my head. I finally got there and rushed through the parking lot to go inside. I had to stop myself from running but I felt so anxious like someone was going to take MY puppy. I got inside, walked over to the event, not even doing a double-take for the beagle puppies who were near the cash registers. Instead I walked straight to a little play-pin where I saw the little girl lab puppy who was fast asleep. I barely took a second to ask if I could hold her, and as soon as she was in my arms I knew she was mine. I walked around the store holding her, petting her, and looking into her sleepy little face. When other people came over to pet her or say she was so cute, I was a little short with them and walked in the other direction, because I was scared they would try to take her from me. Every bone in my body said that she belonged to me.

I told the adoption woman that I wanted to adopt her, and her response was "She's very special to me, so I need to make sure you would be a good parent for her." She proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions and I assured her that I would be the perfect person to become her mommy. So she agreed, and said she needed me to sign some paperwork. I was so scared to put her down, like someone else would take her before it was all finalized, but luckily my Dad  arrived just in time and held her for me. I signed, shopped for dog stuff, and left Petsmart absolutely beaming from ear to ear. She was mine!

I had no idea that day how much this puppy would mean to me. In a time of grief and pain, she brought joy and happiness to my life. She made me laugh in a time when all I wanted to do was cry, and she gave me exactly what I needed to get through each day. Whether it was chasing me around my apartment, falling to sleep on top of me, or playing with me and making me laugh, she provided the kind of love that healed my heart.

That little girl lab puppy that I scooped out of that play-pin in Petsmart has grown up now into a smart, sweet, and spunky lab. The lady from the rescue organization was right in saying that she is special dog. She has not only brought joy to my life, but my whole family as well. There is something to be said for a dogs love. When people fail to give you what you need, when you feel dissapointed and just need to feel loved, somehow your dog knows what to do to make you feel better. I have cried my eyes out with her next to me licking the tears off my face. She would do it so much that I would eventually stop crying and just start laughing and playing with her. It's that, the comfort that a dog can offer that is totally different than what your friends or family can give, that sometimes is so much better. The genuine, innocent, whole-hearted love that they offer is the remedy for whatever is ailing you.

Tootsie put my heart back together when it was broken. She made the impossible possible by making me laugh and feel joy in a time of sadness. She was my lifeline, my calm in the storm, my silver lining. I miss her dearly, love her more than words can say, and can't wait to see her again when I get back from Korea.
 

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby girl, Tootsie. Mommy loves you.