Making Memories

When I think about some of the most amazing times in my life I often think about the people I was with. I think about how the moment made me feel, but also how amazing it was to share it with others. I am a fond believer of making moments WITH people, because it makes them so much sweeter.

A recent time that comes to mind is when I got to tour wine country in NC with some amazing friends and my Mama for my 26^th birthday celebration. I had always wanted to tour vineyards and there were so many that were in easy driving distance. I told my Mom how I wanted to do something new and different for my birthday and we set it up as a long weekend away. I had two amazing friends with me, Melissa and Brenda, and of course my Mom. Those of you who do not know about my Mom and I’s relationship….let’s just say we are close. Very close, like best friends as well as mother and daughter kind of close, friends and family. So being the amazing friend and mother she is, she went to great lengths to research the vineyards and even find a cabin we could stay in. I learned all about winemaking, became an expert on varietals, and had too many laughs to count with my hysterical girlfriends there along for the ride. We basically became wine connoisseurs after our 4 day adventure; or so we claimed! Even though my Mom was battling a severe cough, she still did whatever she could to make the trip memorable. If I had done this tour of wine country with anyone else besides these awesome three ladies, it would not have been the same. We made memories together, and it’s that togetherness that I remember when I think back on our trip!

Another recent time that comes to mind is my going away party that my parents threw for me before I left for Korea. I remember being excited that people were coming that I had not seen in a while, and happy to see my closest friends there, but the warmth and love that I felt by the end of the night was overwhelming. We danced, ate and had a great time, but it’s the feeling that I got from being around so many people that loved me that will always stick with me.

I remember feeling so touched that so many people wanted to genuinely wish me good luck, and it was once again that encouragement of being together with friends that gave me courage to leave the country. My neighbor and great friend, Sabrina, even made me a goodbye video and got everyone at my party to say a farewell message to me! It was so amazing and makes me feel so blessed to have SO much to go back to next year when I return to the States.

The people we share moments with are what truly make a moment special. There is no doubt about that.

 

 

 

Here in Seoul I have met some amazing new friends and I laugh and smile at the beautiful memories we are making together. But so often when we are out at Barbeque or taking photo’s in front of an amazing Korean Temple, I can’t help but feel like something is missing. Not having my Mom with me, or other members of my family, is a nagging feeling I wish I could remedy. I take photos and videos to try to explain to them all the new things I am experiencing, but I want my best friend to experience it with me. I want my Mommy, there is no other way to put it. When I did my year abroad in England she came to visit me twice which was such a huge blessing because I feel like I can’t go 6 months without seeing her. I needed her to see all I was doing in that country, so her coming to visit was a necessity!

As much as I love experiencing the world and living in new unfamiliar places, I know it would never be a permanent choice because I couldn’t imagine being away from my Mom for an enormous amount of time. I know that she feels the same, and misses me so much when I am gone, but she is always the first to encourage me to see the world and live my life!

I am now reaching my 4 month mark of being away from home. I will have an amazing dose of comfort and home when I get to see my sister in a week as we travel around Southeast Asia. Getting to see her will give me the necessary fill of family that I am craving more and more each day.




My Mom plans to come and see me next September and we will do our own traveling of the world together, but I just don’t know if I can wait another 9 months to have our reunion. This is why I’m buying her a ticket to come and see me in Seoul for her birthday. She will come and see me for one week and see everything I am doing first hand. I know she will fight me on it a little because of the financial aspect, but it’s just money and I’m not using it right now. I can’t think of a better way to cash it in then to get my Mom on my side of the world. For purely selfish reasons, I want you here to eat Korean food, see my beautiful Korean kids, and experience this Korean city I live in!

So, what do you think Mama? Will your body and Seoul be ready by February? Say yes, and I'm booking it today! Wearing my heart and waiting for your answer...

J




Belize

England 2007

Wine Tasting Fundraiser



Wedding Reception 2010



Wilmington

Greensboro, Alecia Keys Concert
 

New York

VA wedding

Right Before Camp, NY

Ecoli?? haha Lincoln

Hendersonville





Greensboro

Hull, UK

 



Belize Ball

Kure Beach



Christmas 2011

 

I love you Mama!!! See you soon!







What do you remember?

When I think about my childhood education there are a few key things that come to mind. I remember nap time, recess, and helping my friends with their work in class. There was one girl who I remember from my elementary school who was my best friend, named Rachel. She was an amazing little girl who happened to have Down Syndrome, and we were the best of friends. We even walked down the graduation isle together when we finished 5^th grade! I think I remember her so well because she made me feel so loved every day when she walked into class and would give me a giant hug lifting me off the ground! I also remember my first true feelings of being ‘proud’. You see Rachel would sometimes have trouble in another class so her teachers would come and get me out of my class to help with Rachel in theirs. She would sometimes get upset or not understand something and would only want to talk to me, so I became important and could offer something no one else could. I could offer Rachel understanding and compassion in a way she responded to, and this made me understand the meaning of being PROUD.

I also remember my amazing elementary school teacher named Ms.Perry. I remember she was tough, but always made me feel special, and that she loved pigs. Now the pig thing is random, but it sticks out like a sore thumb in my mind. She always took time to speak with me, would make me work hard, and I was always happy to go to her class. I don’t really remember my middle school teachers and my high school teachers are a blur as well. I think there is something about being so young and impressionable that makes a child’s early teachers truly significant in their life.

I was thinking about my significance in my Kinder kids lives this week as we wrote graduation letters to them. They will be getting a photo album of their time at LCI and there will be a ‘teachers letter to the student’ on one of the pages. So, I wrote sentences about how smart they were and how I knew they would be successful in anything they chose to do. Then I put in the advice that stuck with me throughout my life that I heard from teachers and my parents alike; You can be anything you want to do, so dream big! I felt it was especially invaluable information since my own dreams of opening a nonprofit are coming true before my eyes, and it was that advice that pushed me towards achieving this goal.  For the children in my class who struggle with learning and who have special needs, I made sure to write how our differences are what make us special! I wondered if these words would hold meaning for them someday and when they looked back on this letter, what would they remember about me?

I hope that they will remember how I genuinely cared about each one of them. I imagine they may remember how strict I can be, but also how loving I am towards them. I hope that when they look back and think of Ms.Nikki that they feel encouraged to go out and follow their dreams.

There are so many feelings that rush through me when I think of them turning 15 or 18 and truly starting to make important choices in their lives. The world is their oyster, and I hope they can remember at least one teacher in their life that truly cared about their success.

But they are just kids, and I only have them for 6 months…..so maybe they will just remember that I hate cockroaches. :)

The PELT test

Every month we give our Kinder classes a test to see if they have retained the lessons we taught them over the previous 4 weeks. We get to review the test with them, practicing their sentences, and making sure they are focusing on the information they will have to write about on test day. This is always somewhat nerve-wracking for me, as I want all my students to do well and I want their grades to reflect the successes we have in our classroom each month. I often have as mixture of feelings between pushing them harder the next month and not letting the pressure of a test change my classroom dynamics.

Well this month, I literally got a pit in my stomach as the children took their first standardized test. This was called the "Pelt" test and I did not even know they were having it until the morning of the test when I found scantrons on my desk. I immediately got a rush of panicked thoughts thinking, "I could have prepared them for this, I should have known, some of these kids won’t sit still for an hour, oh gosh they are all going to fail, I am a horrible English teacher!" The panic was inescapable and we were not even allowed to test our own kids. We had to give the test to someone else’s students! I thought this was absurd because I wanted to be with my own kids and see how they were doing throughout the hour, but I soon figured out why we had to switch.

 

As the students in the classroom took our their pencils, erasers, answer sheets, and test booklets I realized how inclined I felt to help them. They were expected to follow along with a CD asking them questions and then do a writing and reading portion afterwards, in total taking almost an hour! Were not allowed to explain in more detail what the test booklet directions were explaining. We just had to watch them as they answered incorrectly or did not move fast enough with the CD which was testing them on their listening skills. One child said out loud "I don't know the answer...." and then thought about it so long she missed the next few test questions that were asked on the CD. I felt such a sadness and panic for this child and wanted to repeat the questions to her so she could try to answer, but I was not allowed. It was at that moment I realized why I was not allowed to test my own kids; I totally would have cheated and helped them! The whole idea seemed crazy anyway to give a standardized test to children that are 6 or 7 years old! The poor kids were writing on the test, then were reprimanded for it and then would miss the following questions. I had flashbacks of me taking the SAT's and mixing up the numbers on the scantron and then having all my answers in the wrong place. With this thought, I was frantically rushing around the classroom to make sure the children were all on the right number according to the question being asked.

 

Throughout the test I continued to worry as to how my own children in the classroom next door were doing. I thought about the little boy who I believe has autism and wondered if he was focusing on the test or being distracted and popping up out of his seat every 2 seconds like he usually does. I thought about the kids in my class who are still way behind the curve and are always mixing up vocabulary words. Would they be getting all these questions wrong? Or the children who struggle with spelling, would they be getting all the writing questions wrong? It was so hard for me to stay in this other teachers classroom.

 

Finally I decided, I just HAD to peak in on my own children to see how they were doing. So, I lied about going to the bathroom and peaked in my room. It seemed like things were going OK, but I just felt like I had to be with them. I wanted to protect my little ducklings from the big bad cruel test that would predict their future with their test scores. I then thought about my really smart kids and had a stomach churning revelation; what if they were one of those kids that just tested poorly? I know so many children who just are not good on tests but thrive in every other way. What if they needed more time? I knew they would not be given that luxury. Just as I got to the point where I was choked up with worry, I realized the test was over. I finished up in the room I was in, and then hurried back to my classroom and told them all they did amazing! I gave them tons of encouragement even though I had convinced myself they had probably all failed.

 

After lunch that day I got the good news; only three of 12 failed! Considering the amount of concern that was overcoming my mind and body I was very happy with these results. I also found out these scores don't count for much, as this was just a practice test to get them used to the whole standardized test thing. The real life changing test would be in a week and a half and my manager was going to work during lunch with the children who had failed.

 

I thought, GREAT we can only improve from here! And then I thought, great......I have

to go through this all over again and so do they! I guess being a basket case just shows how much I love them. Oh my little ducklings, I hope they will succeed!

Dean Thomas Moinet Foundation

Don’t you want to change the world? Don’t you see there needs to be a change and you can make it?

I remember as a child I always thought I could change the world. I saw so many injustices around me that I wanted to fix. I was very sensitive and hated when people were hurt or upset. Whenever an ambulance would go by with the sirens blaring I would start crying because I knew someone SOMEWHERE was hurt. I did not know them or know what was wrong, the simple fact there was a person needing an ambulance would send me to tears. It was the same with fire trucks and even watching the news. I would be so scared and upset by the news I was not allowed to watch it until 6^th grade. (yea I know, cue laughter) But this sensitivity that used to be ridiculed by other children is one of the best parts of me.

You see, even now it’s hard for me to swallow the injustices of this world. Even though I’m grown up and I know the ways of the world, the beggar on the street corner puts a pit in my stomach every time. Children with special needs who are mistreated can get me riled up and ready to fight for them. Knowing anything about this beggar or child with special needs is irrelevant; it’s an injustice, an unfair situation that must be righted….or at least helped.

I have learned over the years that a moment of kindness for a person in one of these situations can be astronomical. For them to have someone to listen to their problem, just to act like they care, perhaps bring them a warm meal or hold their hand is colossal.  It gives them the thing they are missing; HOPE. It gives them reason to persist through the moments of injustice and hope that things will turn around.

These revelations came to light when I found an injustice I could not ignore. It was one that was handed to me by God, handpicked, because He knew how it would affect me. He knew I would not turn a blind eye to this injustice and that it would keep me up nights trying to find its solution. He also knew eventually, it would become my life’s work.

I met a little girl by the name of Megan just over 3 years ago. She had Hurler’s syndrome and was always in the Hospital, and yet was not getting the support she needed from local charities. Her out of state family did not have the time or effort to fight for support for their family as well as fight for her life. They did not know the area, had the majority of their family in another state, and were alone with this issue hanging over their heads. So with me being her Developmental Therapist, and visiting her in the hospital each week, I decided I would fight for her. I would look to find her a home where she could stay when she was discharged, but being medically fragile (extremely sick with a compromised immune system) there were many charities that were not safe for her to enter. She needed space of her own, and her family could not live out of the hospital anymore. They were getting terrible night sleeps on cots and waking up with sickening worry whenever a machine would beep. I was appalled by the fact there was no where equipped to handle her medical issues if she was discharged from the hospital. She needed a charity to step up, she needed resources, and her family needed HOPE.

I became extremely close to Megan and her family during the year I knew them. Megan was no longer viewed as a child on my caseload, she was my family, and her mother and grandmother treated me the same way. We fought the system, and after a lot of failures, we decided that something needed to be done about this. I spoke with Megan’s mother and she shared her dream to open a nonprofit to help children like Megan one day. I knew as well as her how necessary this kind of nonprofit would be as I had witnessed firsthand the hoops they were put through. With a life threatening disease ailing a baby of only 19 months shouldn’t there be endless resources? Shouldn’t their family get support from numerous charities and qualify for help whenever they need it?

Soon after our life changing conversation, Megan passed away. Luckily she was able to find solace in a safe environment outside of the hospital to make a few more memories with her family before that day came.  Although Megan was gone, I kept in touch with her family and could not shake all the problems that I had faced trying to find aide for them. So one day, I decided to do something about it. I called my Mom and said, “I have a kind of crazy idea…..I want to start a nonprofit for children like Megan.” After my Mom swallowed this idea, along with a few sips of wine, she said to me “You are uniquely qualified for this since you knew her. You can do anything you want with God’s help.” So after a lot of prayer, support from my Mom, and the support and encouragement of Megan’s family, we decided to go down the opening a nonprofit path. People called me crazy, said the economy was too bad, and it was impossible. People criticized every aspect of our plan, but luckily I am a little crazy and have a lot of faith that drives me forward.

Over two years later, a lot of paperwork submitted, and the help of an amazing God-loving lawyer, we did it. We got approval from the IRS that we are an official nonprofit. We have our 501c3 status and we are tax exempt. We have a dedicated board that will work hard to bring spiritual, emotional, and physical support to families with medically fragile children. We have drive, vision, and God working hard to make this plan a reality, because without Him we would have never gotten this far. It was so incredibly difficult for us to get here, but we are here……we did it!

This is for the sensitive child who could not ignore the injustices of the world who lives inside of me. That child grew up into a woman who found an injustice she could not disregard. I am thankful for that sensitive child inside of me which made me uniquely qualified for this type of mission. Because of her, I will never forget the pain and anger I felt for Megan’s family not getting what they deserved, and this will be my drive to help so many families in the future. I am so thankful for a mother who told that child from a young age, “you can do anything you want, you can change the world.” And I’m glad that child was naïve enough to believe her, because now I am changing the world.

Some causes you just can’t ignore, and praise God for that.

www.facebook.com/dtmfoundation

 

Is it better to have a religion?

Each week I talk about an article in a kid’s newspaper called Kids Times with one of my older classes. We usually spend about 15 minutes going over one of the articles which usually has some contradictory subject as its main point, which makes it easy to start a debate. My kid’s have really enjoyed it recently and these ‘debates’ have become a fun activity for my class this month.

 

 

The topics lately in the articles have been very interesting. One article was about ‘how to treat people with disabilities’ which the children knew nothing about. I jumped at this opportunity to teach them about a topic that is often taboo in this country but very near to my heart. The following week it was about ‘destiny.’ We talked about the pro’s and con’s about knowing your own destiny and how that would affect your life decisions. Two of the children argued that they would not want to know their destiny because they like surprise parties and not knowing what their Christmas presents would be. They also argued your life would be boring instead of a mystery, and since they like mystery books they would want their life to be full of it!

Two other children argue that they DO want to know their destiny because then they would not let bad things happen. They would know when something was wrong or about to go wrong, and they could change it. It was argued that we could also avoid stupid mistakes and you would know what people in your life really cared about you. Soon the other side of the debate chimed in and said that ‘if you always knew when people would be mean to you, and you chose not to be their friend from the start, then you would never learn how to defend yourself.’  This was a valid point that I was very proud of them for finding which provoked a comical response from the other side. “I take taekwondo.” I couldn’t help but laugh and smile at that one.

This past week the topic was about religion. The question they were asking was ‘Is it better to have a religion?’ The article brought up some typically used conversation points between believers’ and nonbelievers. The nonbeliever in the article argued “I’m still a good person and I don’t need God to help me make decisions”, and “religions can cause many problems in the world, such as war.” The believer in the article argued “When I’m having a hard time it is good to know I have someone to protect me”, and “I live a happier more secure life by having a religion.” I was anxious to see what my children would think of this article as I already knew which side of the fence I would fall on.

All the children agreed that it is better to have a religion because we can pray and ask God for things. I was pleasantly surprised by this answer, as I was not sure of these kids view on religion, so I continued the conversation. “Do you think you need God’s help to make decisions in your life?” I asked them, and then they began to debate.

Two of the children decided that they do not need God’s help to make decisions but they do believe in God, and the others were against this train of thought. They began to go back and forth saying that if you pray you will make the right decisions, but if you don’t then you don’t know your decisions are right. One child chimed in “but only good people can ask for God’s help, not the thieves or people who kill other people.” This comment was interesting as this is often how people view God and religion. Do we have to be ‘good people’ to be able to ask for God’s guidance?

Before I could say something as a response a boy stood up and said “GOD LOVES EVERYBODY!”

Response, “Even the thieves?”

“Yes God loves everybody, no matter what, that’s what my Mom told me. God loves you no matter what. Oh, and Jesus too.”

The other child got quiet as if thinking this over for a minute and the little boy just kept speaking as this was clearly something very near to his heart.

“God loves you, and he loves me, OK? I know this.”

The debate ended shortly after this comment, and we moved onto our spelling test. But for me, this whole conversation really stuck in my mind. Why do we have question God’s love and loyalty to us? Why do we feel undeserving and why do we think we are ok without him? We need him, it’s plain and simple, and he loves us no matter what we do.

Somehow, as we get older these thoughts that were never clouded with doubt as children, begin to seem harder to digest for us. Why can’t we all just remember what we learned as a kid, that God loves us and he is there, always? Why do we let the wicked ways of the world put doubt and fear into our minds and the ever so tempting thought that we are in control. That we can somehow live without God as part of our lives?

Sometimes kid’s have the simple answers us adults are searching for. Not some self-help book, or some website, or any advice a friend could give us over coffee. Sometimes it’s as simple as how a 9 year old views religion. “God loves you no matter what. Oh, and Jesus too. OK?”

Fabulous Fur

Ever since I was young I never really was a fan of the whole fake fur or even real fur fashion trend. This is probably because my French grandmother would buy me these ridiculous furs, spending hundreds of dollars, so I would eventually look like a polar bear. I'm talking about the white fur coat, with the matching white fluffy hat that absorbed almost my whole face with it. I couldn't have been more than 12 and whether it was fake or real, it was more expensive than she ever needed to spend on a child's coat. I mostly wore the silly furry hat around the house to make my sister laugh! I never quite knew what to do with these gifts as it was not THAT cold in the South where I lived, but I guess she was reminiscing to her bitter cold living-in-France days and wanted us to be warm. Well.....in case we ever got a real snow fall! Every winter we were just fine in our fleeces or puffy jackets and the occasional hat or cute scarf would be thrown in for good measure! She would also give furs to my Mom and sister and they would just hang in the closet. They were unused because the climate just did not call for this kind of warmth.

 

Sure fur is beautiful, but I couldn't tell you the difference between a fake or a real one, and it's just not my style. But now, living in Korea, I understand my grandma's mentality when she bought those furs, and I wish I had one with me now.

It has already snowed twice here and the weather says it will continue. I walk on ice to work each day, slipping and sliding, and continuously grateful for it being only a 7 minute walk. If it was any farther, even with my cute white Asian jacket, gloves, hat, and scarf wrapped around my neck and face, I would become an icicle. I understand now why all the women here, and some men too, embrace the fur movement in any way possible. There are fur coats, fur vests, fur scarves, and hats all keeping these Koreans warm.

 

At first, I laughed at it a little because some people's fashion choices seemed a little weird:

 

 Yes, she has a winter coat on and a fur vest on the OUTSIDE of it to keep her body warm. Silly fashion trend, or brilliant warming device?

There are fur jackets with giant furry hoods and also giant fur scarves you wear over your jacket. When you feel the bitter cold seeping through your jacket, sweater and scarf, you can't help but wonder....should I be making fur part of my wardrobe? Is that the secret I need to mke it through this winter?

 

Some teachers have embraced this fashion trend and fit in perfectly in this city:

 

After many weeks of having a bitter chill continuously running up and down my spine, having moments I thought my toes or fingers had turned to ice, and had moments where I was so cold that I ran home just to get to the heat quicker, I have decided I need to stop pushing fur out of my wardrobe. New weather means you must adapt! I need it to keep warm, and everytime I see one of my kid's come to school in a furry vest or jacket I am more convinced.

 

I want what they have....WARMTH! Bring on the fur!

Snow Day!

 

Today as I was doing a lesson with my Kinder class, another teacher came and whispered to me, "It's the first snow and you can see it from my window. Feel free to send your kids over a few at a time to see it!" My first thought was, how exciting, it's the first snow since I have been in Korea! My second thought was, I bet its freezing outside and will be so wet when I have to walk home, I’m wearing the wrong shoes. Its funny how when you are a little older the mystery and magnificence of snow sometimes falls more on the nuisance side. You see I worked all day today even though I have bronchitis, and it's very challenging to keep 6 year olds focused when you feel as bad as I do. So when I heard snow I thought, COLD and WET; not so good for this chick.

Regardless of how much this would distract them for the rest of the lesson, I knew my kids would want to see the snow and it would make them tremendously happy.  I began sending them in two's to the other teachers room. They came back with a look on their face like they had seen Santa out that window! They were jumping up and down yelling about snow (in Korean and English) and basically I had to give up trying to continue our work. I let them scream, dance, and jump around in pure excitement because I remember how happy I used to get about snow. I used to think there was some kind of magic in it, because it was just so fantastic and only came around on the best days. Also, it got me out of school! I used to pop out of bed, peek out of the window, and begin piling winter clothes on top of my pajama’s, so I would be allowed to go out and play. I couldn’t get out there fast enough, and I had to touch it to make sure it was real! Me and my family would sled down hills, have snow fights, and build snowmen. Sure I was cold and wet from the affair after playtime was over, but when you’re a kid you don’t care! You don’t think about silly things like bronchitis possibly creeping into your system! It’s the joy of the event, the escape from reality, the bliss that comes with something so simple and yet so wonderful! Maybe it was also because it was such a rarity where I lived. This made the snow days all the more eventful and memorable.

There is such a peace and a tranquility that comes with snow. The hint of possibility that it brings, the idea of hope, and the way such a gently falling thing can make a big powerful city shut down. Pushing its obvious hazards aside, there is something so serene about this type of weather. It is just so nice walking with snowflakes on your eyelashes and hearing the crunch of snow under your boots.

 

 

As the day went on, the talk of snow was undeniable at my school, it was all around me. People were going on and on about how it just kept falling and the kids were practically giddy throughout my last classes. They would come into class all bundled up with snowflakes on their head and wet snow boots, and then when they left we made sure they were all zipped up tight so that the cold wind would not get inside! They were adorable, and so happy, and I could not find a child without that ‘snow day smile’ on their face.

In one of my last classes, I couldn’t help but look out the window and feel a little hopeful myself. This unforeseen snow day, has put enough of a smile on my own face that I forgot about how sick I felt and I actually made it to 5:30pm. That is no small miracle, and I have the snow to thank for it. So I guess the snow is a little magical after all.