Final Farewell

It's funny to see the enthusiasm of the new teachers that are arriving. It's hard for me to teach the new teachers the ways of the world here in Korea and keep it totally positive. I want nothing more than for the new teachers to feel amazing about their choice to teach abroad and for them to feel good about the school and city they chose. But at the same time, I am reassuring myself of the choice I made to leave and all the reasons why Korea is not my home anymore.

The naive excitement that I felt about living in Korea is not something so distant for me. It seems like yesterday that I arrived in this place and had a million questions about it and how my new home and job functioned. It is amazing to me to think of the time that has passed and about the fact I am now spending my days teaching a brand new person the ways of my classroom. Its a lot to process, and mostly surreal.

I will miss my kids a thousand times over, but I will not miss Korea. I have loved living here and learning about this culture but my home is in America. I miss the ways and culture of my own home town and am happy about having 1 year here and no more. I am done trying to fit this square peg into Korea's round hole, and am happy to go back to a place where I truly fit in. It is my time to depart and I am happy and content with that realization, finally. I am excited to realize that my home is in a place that I understand the culture and that I speak the language. North Carolina, here I come.

I am doing my best to prepare the new teachers for what they will expereince here and the ways to be successful during this experience, mostly because I am so aware of my own growth this past year. Living abroad again was a fantastic choice for me and has done wonders for my happiness and outlook on life. Tomorrow is my last day at my school, and in a few days I will be leaving Korea and I am really happy about it. The next phase in my life is starting and I am welcoming it with open arms. I have gotten everything I can out of this year in Korea, and my time is now done.

안녕히계세요 Goodbye!

Passing the Torch

Today is my last week in Korea so I have entered the final stretch. I have only a four day week and then on Friday I will be done with my job as an ESL teacher in Seoul, South Korea. It's such a big change that it has my head pounding and stomach in knots. I am nervous about all the different things happening all at once and can't quite find my footing. There is just so much to do and so much to think about that I feel like I'm being pulled in every direction. A big worry of mine was wondering what the new teacher that would replace me would be like. We have a few teachers at my school who I swear are not big fans of kids, let alone teaching, so I was worried who's hands my Kindergarteners futures would fall into. Well today the newbies arrived, and the veteran teacher (me) was told to train them on the ins and outs of my school.

I took all three teachers up to my room as soon as the day started. Throughout the morning my Kinder kids were so quiet and kept staring at the 3 new bodies watching them in my classroom. But after some time, and lots of explaining on my part, the kids loosened up and we got to work. I found myself torn between teaching, explaining everything I was doing, and somehow suppressing my own anxieties about this week of pending change. Things went well and I answered the new teachers hundreds of questions, but it still left me with a pounding headache and feeling totally exhausted come the end of the day. There is something great about realizing your replacement seems like a good fit, but there is also a distinct sting when you realize you are out of their lives now.........forever. The questions begin to pop up:

"Did I teach them what they needed to know up until now?"
"Did my presence in their life truly make a difference?"
"Will they remember me, and if they do what will they remember?"

I can only hope somewhere in their tiny little Kindergarten brains they will know that Ms.Nikki truly loved them, fought for them, and pushed them so that they can be the most successful people that this city has ever seen. I'm passing the torch now, both willingly and reluctantly, as I know my time here is through. But there are no guarantees that the next teacher will see the love and beauty that each child truly holds.

I needed to remind myself today that I can't save the kids I love from the ways of this world. I can't keep them all under my wing forever. I can't hold onto the past when there will be new faces that need my love and support in the future. My hand has been dealt, and it happens to lead me back to the States.

Tums & goodbyes

Today things started finally setting in as I said goodbye to my first class of students. It was my last Friday at work as next week I only work until Thursday, so my Friday afternoon honors class that I see once a week was going to have its final class with me. I didn't think anything of it, as with it being a class I only saw 4 times a month I didn't think it would bother me to say goodbye. But sure enough the nerves and the anxiety set in about an hour or two before the class started and as I walked up to the class at 5:45pm I started to get teary-eyed. I thought to myself, "Get it together, you barely even see these kids!" This is true, and I don't have any particular attachments to any of the children but it is more of the symbolism of what my first goodbye represents that was getting me all choked up.

Coming to Korea was a huge leap of faith for me and it has been such a struggle and pleasure to live here. So the end of this chapter and the end of having a class full of Korean kids staring back at me is a bit hard to swallow. I remember when I first got here I thought it was so odd to not have any American kids in my classes, but now it will be the opposite. I will get home and look around for adorable little Korean kids running up to me and speaking broken English yelling "Ms.Nikki, come look at this!" These will only be memories though. This coming week is the last week I will hear any of that.

So I am going into my last weekend here, ready to celebrate, and feeling nervous and anxious about the enormous chapter that is closing in my life. It always seemed so far off in the future that I would be going back to America, that now it seems unreal to be so close to seeing my Dad, my sister, my puppy, or my city. The nerves have been bouncing around in my stomach all day today but I'm determined not to be sad, but to celebrate the amazing year I have had. So I'm popping some tums and going to keep it moving, because Korea will always have a place in my heart even when I'm not living here.

The weird & the wonderful

When I first arrived here I was just getting a taste of the culture. It's funny to look back at earlier posts and things I thought were so weird that now I am totally immune too. I have to say some of the things that turned my head in the early months still stand out as this cultures most absurd characteristics, but some just seem totally normal now. I have forgotten what my own culture does in some ways, and have become accustom to the Korean way, which sometimes is better and sometimes worse. Nevertheless, I thought it would be fun to recall some of the oddest and most amazing parts about Korean culture in my eyes after a year of living here.

The Weird:

There are these trucks here that have fresh seafood, vegetables, or fruit that drive around with a loud speaker on top of them announcing to the whole neighborhood what they are selling something and for how much. (I'm assuming, as its in Korean.) I will be cooking my dinner in my apartment and all of a sudden hear these loudspeakers yelling through my window in Korean. I will hand it to the drivers that it absolutely gets your attention, but is such an odd way to sell your goods. Whether you want to or not, you WILL hear what they have to offer. Going to a normal farmers market in the States doesn't seem quite as exciting....

The fondness towards alcohol in the business sense is so outrageous to me. Here a businessman has no choice but to go out with the boss and coworkers and get completely blackout wasted with them. Usually this is done over a 'work dinner' and will leave the participants extremely inebriated to the point that they pass out on the street. I can't even count how many times I have seen a businessman passed out on the street or in a restaurant. It's something I can not help but stare at, but other Korean men and women walk right past them like it's nothing. It's even been known for applicants for a job to say how many bottles of Soju they can drink. The more you can drink, the more likely it is that you will get the job. Someone could even get fired if they don't drink with the boss. This is a weird and also sad part of this culture. Alcoholism doesn't exist here, and yet it definitely does. It is basically forced upon employees of certain jobs and they can do nothing but say 'bottoms up'.

I have said many times that I HATE the frequency of being bumped into here. The invisibility that I feel will not be missed when I return home, but is absolutely acceptable in this culture. I look forward to having my space back in the States and hearing an, "I'm sorry ma'am," if someone should god forbid bump into me on the street.

The kill yourself work schedule is one that is so weirdly common here. Everyone from construction workers to lawyers work 50-60 hours and week. This is such a testament to Korea's success in the past decades but gives it's people no time to rest or even be sick. Succumbing to this kind of schedule has resulted in numerous meltdowns this year for me and I will be happy to get back to a mere 40 hour work load in the States.

The umbrellas in the summer that shield Koreans from the sun will be missed, but having to check all make up I purchase and creams for bleach will not be missed. This is both a loved quirk about this culture and a crazy one! I understand the fancy look of holding your umbrella because you are too fragile for sunlight, but why would anyone bleach their face??


The Wonderful:

Korean bbq is one of my favorite meals here mostly because of the experience of cooking your own food. I highly doubt I will be at a table where I am served raw meat again back in the States, but the many times I have cut this meat with scissors are cherished memories for me. Plus you get a sense of accomplishment when its all finished and you can chow down!

 Grown women in bows has been a sight that has always made me smile and laugh. My boss will even come to school in a headband with a big bow on the side that, in the States, you would assume a child would be wearing. It is such a fashion statement here and even I have enjoyed getting into the hair bow fashion trend. I have bought so many cute hair accessories and I'm not sure I can get away with them back at home!

I will miss being treated like a queen because I am a teacher. This doesn't always happen from my boss or even my school, but the parents and other people that I teach are extremely generous and thoughtful because they consider my job invaluable. English is such an important part of education here in Korea and basically ensures success in the future for anyone who can speak it. I am looked upon as though I have this magical gift that others are dying to get a hold of! So they listen, they learn, and they are overwhelmingly grateful. The icing on the cake is being continually bowed too as a sign of respect. I wish teachers all over the world were treated in this manner, because it truly is one of the most important jobs out there.


Seeing many Korean people in face masks has always been a little funny to me, but I'm kind of in love with them. If someone is wearing a face mask then that means that they are sick and I know to stay away from them. Being a bit of a germ freak myself I find this extremely thoughtful as I know to stay away because of their facial accessory. Even at school the kids will come with face masks or scarves around their neck which symbolize that they are sick. At first I thought this was totally crazy because these scarves were like a branding method that screamed "My kid is sick!" But after being sick over and over again in this country, I found them helpful warning symbols for me to keep a bit of distance between myself and that child. I will miss these considerate measures back at home, and the funny different kinds of masks you can see on kids.

I absolutely am in love with the way that little girls dress over here. I have never seen little kids have so much style! The little girls in my Kinder class will come to school in full on princess dresses just because they wanted too. Or they will have fancy spring dresses with big beautiful bows in their hair that match, and of course little girl high heels. Some of my girls even carry purses! They are hello kitty or Cinderella as expected, and I adore them!

My final and favorite wonderful aspect about Korean culture is the dancing. You think Koreans work hard. . . .  well they play hard as well! When I go into a dance club here in Seoul, the moves that so many Korean people are making on the dance floor are amazing. Honestly, you would think they were having some kind of happy seizure because of the way that their bodies pump to the music. I have never met better dancers than I have in Korea. They are totally free to move however they want, and I love it. I can't help but smile whenever I see a young Korean guy moving every part of his body to a fast electronic song. I can only hope I can replicate some of these phenomenal moves back at home.

Oh the weird and the wonderful..... I will miss this place.

Hardwork pays off

I am not the most technology savvy person in the world. I am an idea girl and usually to conquer a task as big as making a website would be an insurmountable feat. But after months of hard work, a ton of prayer, a few good friends, and pure determination I have completed my nonprofits website. These moments of success make all the moments of failure seem worth it. When you conquer a task that takes you completely out of your comfort zone it is something to be celebrated. You have somehow climbed the mountain that you thought would be impossible. The hours of work and the blood, sweat, and tears all came down to this moment.

I am so incredibly proud to announce our website for the Dean Thomas Moinet Foundation:

http://dtmfoundation.webs.com/

This is just the beginning of our organization making its mark in the world. Here's to many more mountains. 

Korea's Independence Day

Yesterday was Korea's Independence Day. I wasn't sure why we had the day off because I actually thought Korea's Independence day was in June, but it turns out that day was a Korean War memorial day. So with my lack of knowledge on the holiday I have been asking around to adults and my kids I teach as to what this day means to them.

I know in the States our Independence day is quite an event. We have fireworks, barbeque's, parties and more. Its a day of pure celebration, time with friends and family, and lots of laughs. But the Korean people sing to a very different tune on their special day. By many it is viewed as a sad day or just another one in the year not to be celebrated. You see the Korean war was just over 60 years ago and the wounds are still very much healing. When Japan ruled Korea there was a lot of torment and bloodshed and the sting is still very real for many Koreans. There was so many heinous things that happened during Japans reign and people are still alive that lived through it.

For this reason there is still much discrimination towards the Japanese people here in Korea. I have been told by kids and adults alike that Japan has never apologized for their actions and this is what hurts the most. This lack of apology seems to say that they do not see any fault in the pain they caused the Koreans, and this is why discrimination is very much still alive here. It doesn't quite feel like old news or even history yet. When talking to many Koreans you would think this happened last week due to the pain and sadness on their face. Some of my kids I teach have told me, "Japanese people are bad people." This hurts my heart a little because some of them are only 10 years old and I wonder if they have made that decision due to their understanding of historical events, or if they have grown up in an environment condemning that country basically creating a discriminatory attitude.

During my trip to Japan I was amazed at the generosity, kindness, and overall respect the Japanese people offered me. They would go out of their way to help me when I was lost or to advise me on fun activities to do. I was welcomed in a way that made me want to go back a thousand times over, and I never once felt hostility come my way when I said I lived in Korea. For this reason, I asked some kids that I teach this week, "Well have you been to Japan? What was it like?" One child answered, "Yes I have been to Japan, but I did not talk to anybody. Japanese people are bad people." So I answered her, "What about the children that are ten years old like you, who were not alive during the Korean War and did not have anything to do with what happened?" Her face did not change, she merely answered, "Well maybe they are OK but mostly Japan is bad." The other kids went on to tell me they never went to Japan but they know that everyone is bad there.  Later on I asked the oldest child that I teach, in a different class, the same question wondering if his older age would give him a different perspective. His answer was, "I think what happened was very bad, and the government was bad and did bad things, but not all of the people are bad. I have been to Japan and it is very nice and the people were friendly."

I sighed a little ounce of relief after his answer because it gave me hope for the younger generation here in Korea to be able to move forward from their countries tormented history. I can sympathize with the mindset of so many of the adults here who either went through the war or aftermath, or know someone who did, so they cannot easily shake off the pain that Japan brought them. Who knows how you can even go about letting such a huge burden go, but I hope the younger generation won't have to carry it. Discrimination, no matter the reasons for justification, just leads to more pain and sadness.

I hope that one day this very special day, Korea's Independence day, can be one of joy and triumph because of the pain they overcame and to commemorate the lives of the soldiers that they lost. After all Korea is a wildly impressive country when you look at how far they have come in such a short time and how successful they truly are, and this is something to take pride in! One day I believe the tide will turn and it will be a day to celebrate all these things instead of a somber reminder of the past.

Water Day

This week we had ‘water day’ at my school. As I listened to the plan for the day I was flooded with thoughts of my own childhood water fun days at my schools throughout the years. I loved these days more than any other because we could truly act like the crazy kids we really were and of course get the teachers wet!

Before I knew it all the kids were in their swim gear and it was not your typical American swimsuits that I was smiling and laughing at. There were swim caps, long sleeve ensembles, goggles, and even a life jacket for one child even though there was only a water slide to go down and he would never be submerged in water! I could not have possibly thought they were any cuter, and began taking loads of pictures to document this fun occasion. My kids crack me up, as they love to have their picture taken and give me all sorts of poses.

Soon it was time for the action and I told them they could get me a LITTLE bit wet. But as we went outside and the madness began I ended up basically soaked and loved every minute of it. I was being squirted by water guns and being jumped on by these soaking wet tiny humans. The kids were having a total blast enjoying every minute of ‘water day’ and didn’t ever want to stop.

By the end of the fun and games the kids were giggling and pleading for more. They had let loose and didn’t want to go back inside the school and learn. But I changed them into their regular clothes, dried their hair with the towels, and even did all the girls hair in high ponytails per their request. I truly felt like I had 7 children of my own, and it was such a sweet feeling. Their joy turned into my own, and it was a great day with some hysterical memories. 

A Korean Massage

This past week I was suffering from some pretty bad neck pain. Between my long stressful work hours, boxing as my exercise choice, and an extremely hard bed, my neck and my back were in complete knots. It was so bad that I couldn't turn my head to the left and the pain was shooting into my head giving me even more pain through headaches. When it started to effect my sleep I realized that enough was enough. I got the name of a Korean massage place that a friend of mine went to and decided to bite the bullet and just pay for the relief. The at home remedies were not helping any longer. I needed a professional.

When I got there I chose a 70 minute aloe vera massage. I soon was guided into the changing room by a sweet young man that couldn't have been more than 20 years old. He pointed to the change of clothes and said "brazeerie off" and pointed to his chest area. I smiled, laughed a little bit and he closed the door. I turned around to find this:

There was a bright pink ensemble for me to change into consisting of a velcro shirt (the velcro went down my back) and baggie shorts. I thought "of course they will unvelcro it as they massage me. They just want to give me a comfortable change of clothes. I guess I will take them off when I get to the room." I put on the outfit, laughing at the fact these were the only shorts I can fit into in Korea, and took a picture of my new look:

But then I had a moment of panic. If I am being told to change into an outfit, and he didn't give me instructions on my bottom half, what is the right protocol here? In the States and in other parts of Asia you basically can do whatever you want in regards to getting completely naked, but Korea is a little funny about this. Here if you show your shoulders you are offending someone but then again super short skirts are OK. I never quite know what is offensive here, and I became very worried I was going to offend my massage therapist! I must have gone back and forth in my mind of what to do for 5 minutes and then I finally saw this sign:

I sighed, laughed, and became much more relaxed knowing I wasn't offending anyone. I was escorted out of the locker room to a foot bath area and given slippers. I soaked my feet for about 10 minutes, surrounded by Koreans on their phones and chatting it up about life. I kept thinking "aren't you trying to relax here, why are you on your phones?" But then again maybe its normal for them to be at a massage place at 9pm at night after a ten hour work day. For me, this seems insane, but I was in pain and needed a professionals help to work out the knots on my neck. Soon enough the sweet 20 year old man came back, dried my feet, then gave me my slippers before escorting me to my room. I later realized that the foot bath was not a means for relaxation but instead it was purely for cleaning purposes. No way is anyone going to massage feet here unless they know they are perfectly clean. Korea is very particular about feet and this can sometimes get annoying with all the slipper changes and rules surrounding footwear, but this actually made a lot of sense. Who knows where my feet have been? Its a good thing they cleaned them!

I looked at him when we got to the massage room and pointed to my neck and said "Very ouch!" He looked concerned and said "OK, very strong." I think he was saying he is strong and will work it out. I laid down on the massage table and was surprised when my velcro outfit stayed on me. He began massaging me through my pink ensemble, by no means ever touching my skin. I started to laugh a little inside my hole on the table where my face was because I couldn't understand why he wouldn't massage me with lotion or oil like every other massage I have ever had. He worked his little heart out though, putting his full 100 pound body into my massage in efforts to undo my knots through the pink shirt. At one point he pointed to a huge knot on my neck and said "Wowugh!"

After quite some time on my neck I was surprised to find him work so hard on my butt. To be quite honest, it made no sense to me that a massage in Korea consists of not being allowed to touch the skin under my pink velcro shirt, but kneading into my butt is somehow acceptable. All I could do was smile to myself at the contradiction of it all, and pray that he was somehow doing something I didn't understand that would take away my pain. I convinced myself he had magical massage powers that were going to help me regardless of how ridiculous they seemed. Finally the good part started and the friction rubbing through the shirt ended. The aloe vera portion must have allowed him to rub the oil onto my back and this was when he really worked out my knots. At one point I moved my arm to get more comfortable and he said "Ouchy?" and I smiled and said 'no.' He soon was putting his body in all different positions to be able to move my arms in equally odd places that ended up popping my back and bringing great relief. He jumped on the table a few times to put his body weight into the massage, and even 'tae known do chopped me' quite a bit. Each time something like this would happen a huge smile would come across my face at the differences between this massage and any other one I have received. Whatever his techniques, they worked and I left a whole new woman.

I told him he was an excellent massage therapist and wrote him a good report. He literally put every ounce of energy he had into taking my pain away and he was very successful. But I have to say, it was the funniest massage I have ever gotten.

Love/hate relationships in Korea

Adjusting to a new country and a new culture is always a long process full of ups and downs. Throughout this process I have gone through many phases of adoration and disgust when it comes to different parts of Korean culture or my new city of Seoul. For this reason there are many aspects about Korea that I have a love/ hate relationship with. Many things I once loved, I have ended up disliking and many things I did not enjoy at first, have turned out to be unimaginably amazing.

When I first got to Seoul I really enjoyed not knowing anything about the city. Around every corner was a new adventure or a new place to discover. With the city of Seoul being so huge there was opportunity everywhere I looked, and the fact I would never know everything there is to know about this city was intriguing. Eleven months later, this aspect of living abroad is not something I enjoy very much. Now-a-days I just wish I knew exactly where things were and how to get to them, so I could get more done and be satisfied with my choices. Everything is such a task and sometimes that gets old.

On the other hand when I first got to Korea I hated kimchi. Having it at my table all the time was so gross at first and I could not understand why people adored it SO MUCH here. But after months of having it at my table I have become accustomed to the flavor and now crave it with each meal. I want it as a side with everything I eat and can't get enough of it. It is a nonnegotiable that I will have to find it back in the States. I have to continue eating this newly found treasure.

I have a love hate relationship with the language also. I hate that I can't speak it and don't understand so many things that people say to me. I can't read any store signs and I can't ask for advice. This fact is quite debilitating when living in abroad even though English is used around certain parts of Seoul. Even so, there are numerous things I have had to choose to forgo because of the language barrier. But I also love that they speak Korean everywhere I go because this makes it easy to read a book and relax. I am never eavesdropping or chiming into someone elses conversation. Music is beautifully sung in Korean in the cafes that I frequent and everyone speaks to their friends in a language I can't understand. For this reason I can totally tune it all out and be productive while drinking my coffee, or just read and relax. You can't be distracted when you don't understand what's going on!

I also have a love hate relationship with the food here. I absolutely love it but I hate I cannot replicate it. I want to make these fabulous dishes at home but becoming a Korean chef is something I am totally unable to do. I cannot make my own kimchi, my own dukgalbi, or my own kimbap no matter how hard I try. I hate that I will have to say goodbye to this amazing cuisine as I return home, as it is a rare find in my home town. 

Some other things about Korea that resemble this relationship is that I love the children, but hate that special needs services are not in play here. I love the paycheck but hate that I cant take time off  when I am sick. I love being so close to so many countries that I want to visit but hate being so far away from my family. I love living in a culture that is so different from my own but I hate not having some simple necessities from my own culture available for me to use.

Lastly I hate that I have to leave the cuisine, amazing friends, and the children that I teach, but I love that I am done with my year here in Korea in less than a month. Goodbye Korean Ms.Nikki..... hello American Nicolette.

Discovering the new, appreciating the old

This week was my vacation, and with myself only having 4 weeks left in Korea I thought I should use my time getting to experience some of the Korean food that I have yet to try. Due to the fact that most restaurants only have a menu written in Korean it has severely limited my ability to eat anywhere I please. There would need to be pictures somewhere on the menu at a restaurant, or someone who had already been there to tell me what to order if I wanted Korean food. For this reason I would stick to my numerous staple restaurants that I had had success with previously. Hey, if it ain't broke?  But there are many things I have yet to try, so this week I ventured out to see what I had been missing.

First I went out with some friends to a new kind of barbeque place. Instead of pork or beef, they served duck on the grill. I had never heard of this in Korea, but apparently its a special chain restaurant that offers this unique bbq experience. We had many sides to come along with the duck of course, some being white kimchi, pickled jalapenos, garlic, and numerous sauces. I watched in awe how a Korean friend of mine chose to eat it; he wrapped the duck meat inside of a piece of kimchi, added a piece of garlic and jalapeno to it and then dipped it all (together) into the sweet brown sauce. It was effortless it seemed. . . . . so I gave it a shot. As I tried to wrap all of these components into a white kimchi cabbage leaf it all miserably fell out into the brown sauce. I laughed and thought "practice makes perfect" and kept at it until I also became, what I thought was, good at it. I must have looked like I was struggling though, as the waiter brought over a fork and smiled at me. I laughed so hard at how ridiculous I must have looked to him; A sad Meguk (American) struggling to eat her dinner. But  I refused to give into the fork temptation, and kept using my chopsticks. I was not graceful in the least, but my Korean friends at my table and others around the restaurant looked as if it was so easy to eat this way. It's amazing to watch Korean people eat as it is purely a work of art. Whether it is separating their noodles from their soup and dipping dumplings into it, or wrapping up 4 or 5 different ingredients into a kimchi leaf, it looks effortless. Eating is a not just filling a need here, its a full on experience with your food.

I had told a friend of mine that I had eaten bibimbap on numerous occasions but wasn't too keen on the cold vegetable dish. She looked at me and asked "Have you ever had the hot bibimbap?" She saw the quizzical look on my face and said, "OK you have to come with me to Bibigo." This is a restaurant that has a mix and match kind of bibimbap menu where you can choose your vegetables, meat, rice, and sauce for your dish. They make it cold or hot and exactly how you like it. I ordered the hot stone bibimbap with steak and an egg on top. The difference between the hot and cold version of this dish is they put the ingredients in a hot stone bowl where it cooks the ingredients as it is brought to your table. The rice gets a little crispy around the edges of your bowl and the egg gets cooked with the other vegetables as you mix it. It is a healthy and delicious form of bibimbap, and I am definitely a fan now of this popular entree.

I walked into a frequently visited Korean restaurant the other day and saw someone eating a black noodle dish. I looked at the owner who spoke NO English and asked him what it was. He pointed to a sign on the wall that said 'buckwheat noodles' and I was intrigued. I had no idea if it was hot or cold or what was in the dish, but I thought 'why not?' So I ordered the noodles, along with 2 tuna kimbap rolls which are always phenomenal, and took it home with me as take out. I was surprised to open the container and see that there was ice inside the dish and that it smelled very fishy. I told myself that cold soups can still be good and tried to be optimistic about my choice. But as soon as I put some of these fishy noodles in my mouth I realized that this was not a Korean dish I would order again. Maybe it was the seaweed paper piled on top, maybe it was the ice, maybe it was the fishy soup that had soaked into the noodles but I was not a fan. I decided I would just eat my delicious tuna kimbap for dinner that night and forgo the buckwheat noodles. Sometimes there is something to be said for sticking with the regular options......you know what your in for!

 I realized that I had done enough venturing out when mid-week rolled around and that I wanted to enjoy the staple restaurants I had worked hard to acquire. So I went with a friend to a Mexican fusion restaurant called Vatos. I swear, they have the best fish tacos I have ever eaten in my life. I usually order chicken or beef in Mexican restaurants, always shying away from anything fishy, but one night my friend and I were splitting our dinner and she ordered fish tacos. She wanted to try my beef ones and so I took a bite of her fish tacos and immediately fell in love. It is a moist battered fish topped with an orange sauce, red onions, tomatoes, and cilantro.  The flavors work together perfectly as you taste the cold tomatoes and onions mixing with the hot soft fish in your mouth, and then the spice of the sauce follows. It is a party in your mouth as my Mom would say, and I can never get enough of them.

 I knew I had to have my absolute favorite Korean meal this week also, which is by far dukgalbi. There is something so perfect about the spicy red sauce mixing with all of the fresh vegetables and the always pleasing topokki. And not just the normal topokki.....here they have mozzarella filled topokki and sweet potato filled topokkki.

I can't tell you the countless hours I have spent in grocery stores this year trying to find where you can buy this kind of filled topokki and I have always come up empty-handed. So getting to eat this delicious treat along with all of my other favorite ingredients of the dish leaves me continuously satisfied. This meal was one of the best discoveries here in Seoul for me as far as food goes. I will admit it.....I am addicted to dukgalbi. The first step is admitting it right? How will I ever live without it!

 Korean culture is quite a drinking culture, as many business men and women are required to go out and get drunk with their bosses. They have their very own alcoholic beverage called SOJU which is very popular and it is often mixed with a Korean beer. This concoction is called 'so-make' and it usually on every table in bbq restaurants here in Seoul. Because of this you would think it would be quite easy to find a good cocktail in this city, but you would be wrong. As far as I know the places that serve cocktails are clubs or very high end bars that cost you an arm and a leg for a drink. Usually you must go to a foreign pub of some sorts to be able to find a cocktail that would be in every restaurant back in the states. But the problem is that sometimes a girl wants something fruity in a martini glass, not a beer. So my friend and I set out to find such a location that was not filled with college students or that was not 45 minutes from home. We were lucky enough to already be in a very hip and trendy part of town called Sinsa and walked a few streets over to Apgujeong. After passing numerous Japanese restaurants, coffee shops, and clothing stores we finally stumbled along an adorable bar called "Bar Sette." We were thrilled to see an actual cocktail menu that had mojitoes, martinis, margaritas and more. Sure the drinks were around $15 each, but sometimes you just have to go for it. As I took a swig of my friends mojitio, which was so refreshing and delicious, I realized I had not had a mojito in over a year. It's crazy how time flies, and how much that taste brought back memories of relaxing with family and friends at a nice restaurant back home.

In my week of discovering the new and appreciating the old, I realized that as much as I love being adventurous and trying new things there is something to be said about the familiar. Whether it's the 100th time I have eaten dukgalbi or the refreshing taste of a mojito that has been lacking, there is comfort and satisfaction in treating yourself to the usual.

The promise of adventure

When I first moved to England the appeal was clear: new places, new people, new opportunities, and all around a new city and country to conquer. The mystery of my new home was what made it so exciting and totally worth the risk. It's the promise of adventure that made me want to do a year abroad in college and leave everyone I knew. And in that year, boy I was right, I got more adventure than I could have ever asked for. From living with roommates from all over the world, to dating a Cypriot soldier, to going to Dublin for St.Patty's day, I never knew what to expect out of tomorrow.

The same appeal is what made me want to move to Korea. I admit at first I wanted a clean slate and a fresh start more than adventure, but after a month or two my appetite for discovery was undeniable. I went to Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia, and explored my amazing new home, Korea. I wanted to do something new every weekend, learn something about this foreign place, and to soak up the culture. Everything was inspiring and new, and going to bed each night knowing I would learn something totally new and unfamiliar the next day, was exhilarating.

Well, as I have become more accustom to my life in Korea some of that sense of adventure has faded. There have been a few weeks recently where I don't seek it out anymore, because this place has become home to me, not a place promising the unknown. Don't get me wrong there are still new things I learn each week, but its much harder to surprise me than it was when I first arrived.

Luckily, that promise of adventure is right around the corner. With my TOAL being less than 30 days away, I am being filled more and more with anticipation and excitement. I know that each day I am in Vietnam, Cambodia, or Thailand I will see something fantastic or learn something exhilarating about a foreign culture. I can just see it now: my mom and I riding a scooter along a street in Hanoi stopping off at a local market and grabbing a snack before our next destination. I see us exploring the mountains and beaches of Hoi An and sparking up a conversation with fellow travelers. I see us making friends with a tuktuk driver in Siem Reap who we get to know over our time in his city. We might hear about his struggle and his life growing up, and our lives will be connected for a few life changing days. I can see us exploring the jungle of Thailand, laying on the beach of Ko Chang, and zip lining through the forest of Chiang Mai. There is too many adventurous, enriching, and promising possibilities to even account for.

There is something to be said when life gets you all riled up, makes you open your heart, and you are incredibly ready to discover whatever mysteries this world has to offer. The promise of adventure brings out the little kid in you that used to dig for buried treasure at the beach, or who pretends that they are superwoman who can do anything! The promise of adventure replaces daydreams with otherwise mundane thoughts about the grocery list or chores to be done. And before you know it, you find yourself smiling and not even realizing your doing so. It makes you hopeful and ready for anything. I'm ready to continue exploring the world.

Itaewon Market

 This week I am on vacation and feeling continuously surprised at the things I am discovering. With a little more time on your hands and a relaxed demeanor you can really discover a lot. I can't remember having time like this here in Seoul, as the weekends are usually too short and my vacation days have been spent abroad. This time of exploration made me very excited about my trip coming up in 4 weeks, where I will get to explore numerous places in Southeast Asia.

One day I went to Itaewon for lunch, an area I know very well and have explored often. But somehow I have never known that there was an Itaewon market. There are numerous floors, including an underground section. and everything you can imagine is in a little shop inside. 

 I browsed through the clothes, with there being many trendy and inexpensive ensembles, but then decided not to buy anything else unless I absolutely loved it. After all, I have seen how much stuff I have to take back to the States with me this week as I have begun to pack, and know I do not need to do any frivolous shopping. 

Soon enough I came upon a store that was different than the others. It had many Korean decorations and household items, and something I have always wanted to buy when seen in other places around Seoul but never did: Korean masks.

 These masks are so fun and interesting and made from beautifully hand-carved wood. They have a spark and flare about them but they still scream traditional. I decided I couldn't put off buying one any longer since I am only here for four more weeks, so I decided to purchase this Korean treasure.

 I walked around for hours in this little market and down the streets of Itaewon taking it all in. I kept smiling at how many good times I have had there in the past few years and the fact I never knew this market existed. I was thrilled at my traditional and funky purchase and can't wait to put them up on a wall back at home. My vacation is not only bringing me some rest and peace from my busy life here, but also some special new Korean memorabilia.

Memory Lane

It took me almost 24 hours to get to my apartment in Seoul. I arrived during a typhoon and was greeted by wind, rain, and a young Korean man who would be my driver from the airport. When I was riding along in the passenger seat in his car I had a million questions but was in a fog of jetlag and nerves. I looked at all of the buildings which had signs written in Korean, gazed upon the different architecture, and felt overwhelmed by the completely unfamiliar surroundings I had chosen to take residence in for the coming year. When my driver and I arrived at my apartment it turned out my room was not ready yet, so we ate a late dinner at Paris Baguette, a popular chain here in Korea. My first meal was an asiago bagel and overpriced vitamin water. It was almost 11pm and finally a sweaty, chubby, Korean man arrived at my apartment to let me in. I didn't know he was our go-to maintenance man, Mr.Lee, who worked at my school. All I knew was that I needed to lay down ASAP. My driver and Mr.Lee left me to unpack and go to sleep, and I glanced around my new apartment. My humble abode was totally empty, totally foreign, and I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I looked at my suitcases in disbelief. I looked out the window at the less than exciting view, and I looked around every nook of my apartment. I had an odd balcony where my laundry machine was, and when I opened the door to my bathroom I was perplexed by the fact I had no tub. There was two beds in my room and I had a momentary panic I would have to have a roommate for the coming year. I told myself, "Just go to bed, and it will somehow all make sense in the morning."

After a rocky, tossing and turning kind of night, I woke up at 6am unable to sleep anymore. I got ready for work, trying to look nice and professional, and headed out onto a nearby street to find breakfast. I went into a NesCAfe across the street, where they spoke no English whatsoever, and ordered a blueberry bagel. Desiring a taste of home, I then got a Starbucks coffee and headed back to my apartment. A fellow teacher was told to walk me to work the next day so I made sure I was waiting outside of her door promptly at 9:20am. Her name was Grace and she was also from North Carolina. Funny enough, we actually went to the same highschool and had quite a bit in common.

We walked to the main street and she shouted "Run, it's green." She began running across the street and I realized she meant the crosswalk was green. Once on the other side she explained that the crosswalks in Korea take forever, so when its green you run to catch it. She then uttered "I need bananas" and she walked into a place called the "CU." I put together that this must be like a CVS or Walgreens or something and soon saw they were everywhere. On the walk to school, I had all the usual questions; "Do you like it here?" "How long have you been here?" "Whats teaching like?" "Are you glad you live in Seoul?" "What do you do for fun?" I must have been like a 20 questions machine, and I'm lucky she answered any of them the way I was bombarding her for information. I wanted to hear that I had not made a huge mistake moving across the globe, and for the most part she reassured me, but also told me quite clearly the school we work at has many flaws. Her answers made me a bit nervous but being a half-glass-full kind of gal I didn't read too much into it.

Before I knew it I was at school being introduced to everyone and being asked how my trip over to Korea was. I soon met other new teachers that had already been there for a few days as they got into town before the typhoon, and we observed numerous classes together. I remember thinking that everything the Kindergarten kids said or did was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Their beautiful Korean faces were flawless, their hair full of bows and headbands, and all of them, boys and girls, so stylish. We watched a verteran, Jake, who had been teaching for 3 years and was a pro at the whole LCI style of teaching. He was incredibly helpful, kind, and encouraging and made it look so easy. I went to lunch with the other new teachers and my boss and had my first real Korean dish. It was a seafood soup that was incredibly spicy and almost burned my mouth off. It came with an array of sides that I was cluselss as to what they were. Everything was Korean; the menu, the people, the food, and the language around me. I felt completely engulfed in this new culture and truly could not swallow the amount of differences there were in this culture opposed to my own.

After the day of teaching was almost done, I had to sit in a meeting about the rules and regulations of my new school until 7pm. I remember my boss looking at me and saying "Are you OK?", as I looked like death warmed over. I had slept probably 8 hours in two days and the jetlag was coming hard and fast. Once I was allowed to leave, I went back to my empty apartment and got into bed immediately. I was woken up by a new teacher coming through my apartment door who was going to be my TEMPORARY roommate for a few days until her own apartment was ready to be inhabited. She also had a million questions about Korea, my first day, about the ins and outs of teaching here and wanted to pick my brain. She was from Canada and I'm assuming she also wanted some reassurance that she had not made a cross-continental move she would regret. I gave her as much positive feedback as my body could handle, then muttered something about jetlag, and pulled the covers over my head. 

My first day was done, and I could not wrap my head around this seemingly insane choice I had made to live in Seoul. A city that I knew little to nothing about, where I could not speak the language, and that was millions of miles away from my friends and family. The upcoming weeks were difficult and challenging in a refreshing way, and soon enough I found my balance. I had a great friend, I had found good food to eat at some staple restaurants, and I had decorated my empty apartment with fun accessories from the local equivalent to the Dollar Store and memorabilia from home. What I didn't know back then was that the challenges I faced in my first few weeks and months of living abroad would actually be challenges I would face all year. The ability to conquer this city in a year is impossible, and the handicap of not speaking the language is often still a problem. But the adjustment period started to come to a close, and finally I started to see Seoul as my home.

"Don't take it personally"

“Don’t take it personally” is something I have heard all my life. Whether it was at my job or from my family and friends I have heard it too many times to count. “You can’t take it so personally Nicolette because it will upset you.” Well I know that I am a sensitive person who does take things personally but it is an asset, not something to be tamed.  It may bring me a lot of pain or worry, but it also brings me a lot of conviction which inevitably makes me a better person. I can understand where people are coming from because I let myself feel the pain they are going through when I hear about their situation. I don’t want to go through my life ‘not taking things personally’ because then it’s like I am numbing myself to the emotions that God gave me. He made me the sensitive person I am today who wants to have relationships that count, wants to change injustices, and who feels moved by a strangers situation. 

Taking things personally is what makes me a good friend and a good family member as I am constantly putting myself in others shoes. “Someone got fired? How would that make me feel? Oh wow, she must be going through such a hard period. Maybe we can help her out.” That is where my mind goes when something happens in a loved ones life, but according to many people around me I should skip the whole ‘how would that make me feel’ as that is taking it too personally. Sure I have cried my eyes out over someone elses problem before, but it makes me human. It shows I have a soul and a heart. Does God call us to forget about what's going on in each others lives and only worry about ourselves? I think not.

There have been a few distinct times in my life where I took things personally. When I was working as a Developmental Therapist four years ago, I met a little girl named Megan who was very sick with Hurlers Syndrome. Her family was from out of state and had no where to stay while their daughter was getting treatment, so they were basically living out of the hospital. For some reason there were no charities coming to their rescue, offering any kind of assistance or resources, and they had to just accept this as their harsh reality. 

It bothered me a lot. “What a sad situation, but its not your problem” everyone said. “Why are you getting so down about this? There’s nothing you can do. It’s not your family, and you can’t help the system has holes in it. Stop taking it so personally,” I was told.

Luckily I didn’t listen to them. I found Megan and her family a place to stay which gave both them and I precious memories with her outside of the hospital before she passed away. Because I took it so personally I didn’t sit back idly and watch them being ignored by society. I took their injustice personally and let that emotion fuel my desire to fight for them. Because of that deeply personal experience I had with them I’m now opening a nonprofit to fill the holes that precious children are falling through. My ‘too personal’ outlook gave me the conviction to fight for them, and courage to try to right a wrong, and I will fight for other families just like them in the future. 

This also applies to the distinct and unsettling fact that children with special needs are not accepted or understood in Korea or many places in Asia. There are no services in place and kids are being called ‘abnormal’ and being placed under a terrible stigma. Well as luck would have it God put two children in my classes over here with pretty clear special needs. Why? I think he put them in my class because he knew I would take their struggles and difficulties personally. I would not be able to shake their situations off or dismiss my desire to try to help them. Because of this character trait, I have sat down in wildly uncomfortable and frustrating meetings with their parents and other staff trying to advocate for their child's needs. Most teachers won’t speak up for the child running up and down the halls flapping his hands, having trouble communicating, and showing severe delays across the board.Why? Not because they don't care or anything like that....but getting involved is a personal choice with personal repercussions. The fact I took their problems personally, and held them on my back as my own, has enabled me to help them as much as this culture will allow. 

Nothing irritates me more than when someone utters these words to me, as it seems that they don’t know how I tick. Am I supposed to walk through life letting nothing get inside and letting everything roll off my shoulders? Turning my back on a situation and saying 'oh well' has its place and time. The fact I do take things personally sometimes is not a trait that I should work on and try to erase from my personality, because it makes me good at my job and a good human being. Acceptance is also in my bag of tricks, but sometimes a little sensitivity about a situation is just what the doctor ordered.

Packing Day

Yesterday was my first day of vacation which I happily decided to do absolutely nothing on. I totally vegged out watching my favorite TV show and eating delicious Korean food. The exhaustion from this past week had caught up to me, and with no pending work days coming up I decided doing nothing was perfectly acceptable. Well today was Sunday, and I decided I needed to do something with my day. It was an awful monsoon day here so leaving the apartment seemed too unpleasant of an activity if I didn't HAVE too leave. So instead I took the day to begin packing up my room for my soon-to-be departure date in 5 weeks.

I did some cleaning and then began going through my things. It's amazing what you can aquire in a year. From extra towels, to nail polish, to cheap subway shirts, there were many to sort through. I began to pack up my winter clothes and anything else I didnt think I would use in the upcoming weeks, and one huge suitcase filled up rather quickly. It's funny to see my pile of throw outs (or pass alongs) and then to look into my suitcase at things I deemed necessary to keep.

I threw away many useless shirts, purses, and nic-nacs that served as decoration around my room. But beautiful hand-drawn cards and pictures from my kids I cannot let go of. Reading the words "I love you Ms.Nikki" on so many different beautiful cards that were given to me on my birthday, teachers day, or even just given to me on a random Wednesday are too precious to throw in the trash. It made me think of how much I will miss hearing little children calling out "Ms.Nikki" for their every want and need to be fulfilled.

I have been so much more than their teacher this year. Half the time I'm "Dr.Nikki" when they need their medicine. "I'm Mommy Nikki" when they are limp in my arms crying their eyes out. I'm "Advocate Nikki" fighting for them in parent teacher conferences to try to ensure their bright futures. Being their teacher which means I am all of these things wrapped up in one has been an amazing position to hold. As much as I am ready to end this chapter and get back to my family, I will dearly miss seeing beautiful Korean children running up to me to give me a hug everyday.

My suitcases are half-way packed, my apartment is beginning to look barren, and my heart is full of every emotion in the book. Packing up my life here is such a bittersweet pastime, but my Sunday was rich with moments of reminiscing and treasuring my keepsakes. To be honest, I could hop on the plane with a purse full of my sentimental things such as cards, jewelry, and pictures and I don't think I would miss anything else. They matter the most, they are the most valuable things I own because of the memories they stir up.

I look around my room at the souvenirs hung up on my walls from all over Asia mixed with things from back home. When I first arrived there was only American memories filling up this room and now there is so much more. It shows how much Asia has captured a piece of my heart, as it is covering my walls, and it comforts me that Korea will always be a part of me from here on out.