American Honey

When I left for Korea I was a little bit of a mess. I was dealing with the death of my grandfather amongst other unsettled grievances and I needed a new start. Living abroad offered the perfect place to start a new chapter, bury my fears and worries, and gain a new appreciation for life. When I arrived here I felt completely in over my head, but I knew that this crazy new life I had signed up for was exactly what I needed.  Don’t ask me how I came to this conclusion, as all I can say is that I received a short line of signs from God that inevitably let to me moving to Seoul. Also the fact He didn’t stop me was my affirmation for the decision I was making to live abroad. This entire year has been an uphill battle but has given me more than I could ever put into words.

As I walked home tonight from a friend’s house I was staring up at the moon thinking about the mindset I was living in a year ago. That place of grief, worry, and sorrow over the storms erupting in my life is no longer present.  Now, I can look up at the moon and smile instead of crying about the people I missed so dearly. I have found peace with the storms that I have endured in my life and have even become grateful for them. I have grown in an indescribable way during this year abroad and it has made me a more well-rounded friend, sibling, daughter, and person. Sometimes you have to take time away from the familiar to realize just how precious that familiarity truly is. I know it was difficult for my parents to let their baby bird fly the coup, especially all the way to Asia, but this time away has healed me and prepared me for the next phase of my life. Some tragedies are too hard to cope with, and time away or a new distraction, can offer just the closure that you need to be able to accept the truth.  

Some things need time to heal, and at my 8 month mark something finally clicked. I felt incredibly hopeful again for the first time in a year and was ready to move on and upward with my life. Since that Sunday full of clarity and validation I have been working on building up my sense of hope and joy to prepare myself for whatever storm comes across my path next. I am ready for an uphill battle and excited to face a new challenge back in the States. 

I got exactly what I needed during this past year and am returning home with so much more than I came with. Personally and professionally I have grown and learned some worthy lessons while working abroad. I am ready now to return home and see the people who were kind enough to let me roam free for a year and supported me through the ups and downs. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me….I couldn’t have done it without you! Here’s to new chapters and getting back to the familiar.   

 There's a wild wild whisper blowing in the wind

Calling out my name like a long lost friend.

I miss those days as the years go by

Oh, nothings sweeter than summertime,

and American Honey.

Get caught in the race of this crazy life.

Trying to be everything, could make you lose your mind.

I just wanna go back in time to American Honey.

Gone for so long now,

I gotta get back to her somehow.

to American honey.