The source of Hope

Hope is the desire. Faith is the demonstration. Dreams don't start out as a harvest. It starts with a seed that initiates the process.

 I have found myself lately in the middle of my dreams coming true. It's the most surreal, ridiculously amazing, and humbling feeling I have ever experienced. A dream that started off two years ago with many people saying I was crazy, but possibly just crazy enough to pull it off, is starting to come into reality. As I look back at the events of the past 2 years of my life I can see how much God was truly in charge. He perfectly placed people, situations, and places in my path when I needed to find them. These events (no matter how good or bad) have changed my personality, faith, and beliefs in the way that I needed them to for this dream to become a reality.

 "You want to learn to walk by faith, not by sight. You can't learn that without walking through periods of complete darkness."

When I decided to start up a nonprofit 2 years ago for a cause I could not ignore, I took a huge leap of faith. I knew my life would change forever and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that, but my heart was convicted knowing that someone had to step up to the plate. I thought of a million reasons why it shouldn't be me, but I felt an unyielding push in that direction. I slowly put one unsteady foot in front of the other knowing that God would show me the right path, and now I am walking completely in sync with his vision. I feel like I have a direct line to Him and how he wants me to proceed with this foundation in order for our mission to be successful and for people to know the comfort, peace, and love that comes from having a relationship with Jesus.

 "Hope wants it to happen. Faith causes it to happen and acts as if it's already done."

There have been numerous times along the way that I felt like I was absolutely nuts for going forward with opening a nonprofit. I often felt like I was climbing a mountain without the proper gear and would die from lack of resources at any moment. With a cause being so close to your heart, you are often terrified to for it to fail. 

 "Do not catch yourself standing in hope instead of walking in faith."

I was so nervous about all the emotion this dream was stirring up inside of me and not knowing if I was strong enough to see it through. But it turns out that the overflowing passion that used to bring tears to my eyes every time I would talk about this dream has now transformed into the unbreakable foundation that will never crack when adversity strikes. So all those shaky first days, months, and choices I made with a huge lump in my throat was exactly what God had in mind. His plan for my life was precisely the right blueprint needed to see this thing through.

  "The process is invaluable. The process is the point. And that process has the potential to draw you closer to Jesus than you've ever been."

I knew that this vision that I had been called to bring to life was much bigger than me. The reasons why it would be an impossible dream that would never become successful were infinite. The only reason I could think of that this nonprofit would actually one day become a real and successful organization was if God showed up. I am just some ordinary girl who is no smarter or business savvy than the next. But sure enough, right along with all of my prayers, things began to happen. It was complete and utter confirmation that God was steering this ship, not me. So what am I worried about?

"You know it will never happen unless God intervenes. You are placing yourself in the middle of a move of God."

These days I find myself working incredibly hard on our website and deciding what would be the right ways to convey this dream that God has placed on my heart. How can I manifest this idea into words? Some things are just too hard to communicate, but somehow I am doing it. I am getting across the love and kindness that my nonprofit will show to those in my community, and I am doing it MY way. No one else is telling me what things 'should' look like, and I wouldn't listen to them anyway. God has made me the earthly boss of this organization and he is daily molding me into the person I need to be to continue moving forward. He chose me.....I would have totally picked someone else. But if this is my job description, I am going to embrace it.  And to start, I am putting my own spin on things....it's fun, its genuine, and it's full of compassion. Just like this nonprofit will be.

 "The church of Jesus Christ should be the most compassionate and creative entity on the planet."

No matter how many mountains I have to climb in the future I know God will prepare me for the battle. He is faithful. He has given me just the triumphs and trials I have needed to get to this point in my life. My hope is purely in Him and I have stopped looking for signs of hope here on earth. Hope is the lifeline so it needs to be hooked up to the right source. Its what helps you to survive the unimaginable. When you have a heavenly lifeline pushing you forward there is no mountain too big to conquer.

I believe in the sun even if it's not shining. I believe in love even when I'm alone. I believe in God even when He's silent.

I want to dedicate every minute of my life to this dream and I am continuing to get things in order for it to be successful while in Korea. I can not sit on my hands and watch the world suffer any longer. It's time to do something about it, and share with others the lifeline that has helped me to stay standing these past few years. I don't want to just 'get by.' I want to 'make an impact.'

"We are not here to merely survive the world.....we are here to transform it for the glory of God. And we are here to stay." 

Imagine what we can accomplish.

All my Children

During each of my journeys around the world I have somehow accumulated a group of kids that will never leave my mind. I love them in a real and meaningful way, whether we have had numerous memories together or none at all. Today I was reminded in a small way, how significant those memories can be for a child. How significant one person can be for a child, a family, or a situation. Although they are children, they have taught me so much about life and about the woman I want to be. It brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes to know I truly love so many amazing children around the world and they love me too. Here are all my children:

Aaiden- This is my Godson in Belize. I met him a few years ago on a mission trip to Sandhill, Belize with my church. It was an amazing week where I became incredibly close with this gorgeous little boy, who was only 1 year old at the time. My mom also became close with him and one of us was always holding him and playing with him. My absolute happy place was when he was sleeping on me, showing me how comfortable he was with me. It was so sweet that I didn't care he was making me even hotter in the 90 degree weather that was making me drip with sweat! I could have held him forever....basically I fell in love with him. His mother could see how much I cared for her baby boy and at the end of the week she asked me and my mom to be his Godmothers. We had a ceremony at the church where I vowed to pray for him and love him always. I still pray for his health, happiness, and that he will grow up and become a man of God. He is almost 4 years old now, and going to preschool. I was contacted by his mother today asking me if I wanted updated pictures and videos of him? She then followed this question with a statement that warmed my heart: "He asks about you when I show him pictures of him as a baby. He says hi! He will never forget you, I promise!"

John- I met an unforgettable soul this year in Korea named John. He was in my first Kinder class and we became incredibly close. I noticed that he was a child who needed a special kind of teacher, and I was happily able to fill those shoes. He is insanely smart and determined to become a scientist. He always would make me and his friends laugh and was a hand full to say the least. But every moment that I shared with him was cherished. He is now in an after school class at my school so I see him in the afternoon. He has been having trouble in this class, feeling frustrated and bored, and his Korean teacher could not get him to talk about his feelings...... so she asked me to speak with him. I felt very touched to still be useful in his life since he is no longer in my Kinder class, and sometimes acts like he is too cool for school when he sees me in the hallways. But sure enough I spoke to him and he opened up about his feelings to me. We had a great talk, laughed and played for a sec, then he went back into his after school class. He is still my sweet little mischievous kinder, and I still can fill a need of his that others could not. I felt incredibly special, and will miss this boy terribly when I leave Korea. My life just wont quite be the same when I'm no longer seeing that silly grin of his on that handsome face anymore.

Alejandro-This little boy was the first child I ever did developmental therapy with back in North Carolina. He was very delayed in regards to his speech and gross motor skills. His family was in a tough situation and the needs of the family as a whole was overwhelming. Nevertheless I learned how to say to the face of adversity "I don't care, I'm doing it anyway." There was an incredible amount of obstacles in the 2 years I treated this boy from fights with his family, to problems with his daycare, and then the every day battle with his special needs. But that little boy walked and talked for the first time with me! I will never forget when he took his first steps and I started screaming in excitement. It could have been my own flesh and blood considering how overjoyed I felt at that moment at his accomplishment. I still can hear him calling me "Ms.Icky" instead of "Nikki"..... sometimes it was just too sweet to correct him. He taught me to fight for whats right and to fight for the little guy regardless of the circumstances. He empowered me to give a voice to those who had none. I grew into my big girl shoes with this little boy, and I will always remember his beautiful face.

Megan- I met this little girl 3 years ago and my life was forever changed. She is a child who is medically fragile who taught me so much about the quality of life. She struggled daily with her diagnosis, and I worked to keep her and her families spirits up. I did what I could in regards to therapy, but our relationship was not a working one. I became a part of Megan's family, loving her deeply, and becoming a friend and helper to her family. My heart would bleed daily for her situation, and I wanted to change it for future families like hers. She died in 2010, and I am now dedicating my life to helping families just like hers. She fought daily for her health which made me painfully aware of all the things I take for granted. Such as having white blood cells, the ability to break down enzymes, or being able to eat solid food. She gave me more lessons in the year that I knew her than anybody I have ever met. I still love her dearly, and I know she is an angel watching out for me from heaven.

Justicia- This is the little orphan girl that I sponsor in Africa. She is a gorgeous 4 year old now, and sends me letters a few times a year. She likes to play with dolls and is well-behaved. To be honest, she could be the naughtiest one at her school and I wouldn't care! I just want her to know she is loved by people all over the world. She often draws pictures on her letters to me of people, and at Christmas one year she tried to draw baby Jesus. She is one of Jesus' children and I tell her in my letters how much God loves her. I pray for her safety, nourishment, and to know that she is not alone in this world. I hope she can grow up to become an empowering woman of God who will change the world. Who knows, maybe she will do this by helping other African orphans like herself. Every child is worth so much more than they know, and is capable of doing whatever they set their mind to. She makes me excited for the day when I will adopt my own orphan from across the world, who I can only dream will be as beautiful as she is. Some children you don't even have to know to love.


These kids will have a permanent place in my heart forever, and the ways they have impacted my life is inconceivable. I am unable to even put it into words. They are branded in my heart as the children that have changed my world, my reality, and my future. They have molded me into the person I am today.

I look forward to the next one to enter the group.

Concrete jungle

 There is something very exciting about living in a thriving metropolis abroad. The hustle and bustle of the traffic, and millions of people that move inside of it everyday is mysterious and magical. I have lived in other massive cities like New York, and visited London, Chicago, and LA and it seems they all have things in common. No matter where I go, even to Seoul South Korea, big cities all seem the same, and I often feel a little lost in them. The skyscrapers, advertisements, the honking of horns take over the city, and you sometimes have to search for the beauty.

I have never been much of a big city girl, but there are a few things I have truly enjoyed about Seoul. One major thing is the Han River that runs through the city. The views that I get to witness while riding the subway across the bridge or bike riding the paths next to it, are phenomenal.

 

  

I also am a sucker for a beautiful sunset. Even when the sun is setting behind a skyscraper, in a city so big I can't quite comprehend its size, the sunset is breathtaking.

The views that I have gotten a chance to witness while riding for hours on a train, or in the bitter cold of winter, are ones I will never forget. 

Every big city I have visited has had so much concrete and many highways, and I can never totally get used to the fast-paced living. I may feel a little insignificant and lost in them due to their gigantic size, but God's beauty can always be found there. And sometimes you have to go somewhere you feel lost to find yourself.

Can one person change the world?

Today I started a new Honors class of 10 and 11 year olds, where I went through a newspaper with the kids and discussed the articles we read. The articles were mostly bland and not very thought-provoking, but finally we came across one worth talking about. The article was about a resourceful man in Uganda who felt obligated to help the crisis surrounding the amount of trash in the world. He decided to make someone elses trash, Uganda's treasure. He began to build playgrounds from the waste he would find, including an amazing playground in the slums of the capital city. His work is now known around the world because he has changed so many neighborhoods in his country from being useless, to incredibly useful and magnificent for the children. He believes in saving the environment and in the simple necessity of children being able to play.

After reading the article we talked about words they didn't know and summarized what we read. Eventually I got to the question I had been waiting to ask.

"Can one person change the world?"

Almost all the children went on to say 'no.' One girl said yes but wasn't quite sure why she was saying it. They proceeded to say that without all of the people who helped him gather trash and make the playgrounds, then Uganda wouldn't have been changed.

"But it was HIS idea. I know he needed help, but doesn't the person with the idea who sparked the playgrounds count as one person changing the world?"

"No." They didn't seem to see how one persons idea is where it all started, and without him there would be no playgrounds for the kids in the slums. So I proceeded to ask them what their dream would be to change the world, hoping I could inspire them. Two of the boys said they wanted to become a lawyer so they could help the innocent to go free. One girl said she wanted to teach others about recycling because many don't understand how to do it. All I could think was 'perfect.'

I then asked, "If one lawyer gets an innocent man off the hook for a crime he did not commit, did he change that persons life?'

"Yes...."

"Then he changed the world. That man may go off and become a lawyer also and proceed to get 10 more innocent people off the hook for crimes they didn't commit."

There were many looks exchanged, nodding of heads, and smiles. It was starting to sink in. So I then looked at the girl who wanted to be an advocate for recycling.

"If every person you taught to recycle, began to recycle, then wouldn't that have an impact on saving the environment?"

"Yes...."

"Then you have changed the world."

They all seemed to get it at this point and there were smiles and looks of hope in their eyes. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but I could see the light bulb turn on in their heads and the wheels turning. As a teacher, that's all I want. To inspire kids to change the world. Change their reality, change the community, and challenge injustice. You can do anything you put your mind to.

It was very ironic that this conversation happened the same day I am beginning to work on my website for my nonprofit. Truly, I am working on changing the world, and I am just one person with an idea, but it absolutely will happen.Who knows, maybe the seed I planted in these kids head today will help them to go on changing the world, and I will have had a small part in it.

It was a very inspiring and meaningful conversation. It left me feeling hopeful and energized.

And then we turned to the next article in the newspaper which was entitled. "My poop becomes tasty coffee!"

Gifts from Korea

Resilience and patience are things that the Lord must instill in us. Every bump in the road is a method for gaining more of these characteristics. And then before you know it, you can do anything you put your mind too. 

Since being in Korea I have truly changed from inside out. God has been working hard to teach me lessons I could have never learned at home, and instilled in me a ferocity and determination to fight back against the worlds injustices. There has been a vision burning inside of me for years now to change the lives of families in my own community back in North Carolina. I was not equipped for the battle that I will be sure to face in following this vision through before I came to Korea, as I had numerous burdens in my own life I had to focus on. 

Now, with my time abroad, God has proved himself faithfully as my Healer so that my burdens would begin to dissipate. The monsters that used to keep me up at night have been tamed, the nightmares gone, and the fears faced. Instead I am filled with hope again; an emotion I had lost the meaning of through the recent circumstances in my life.

More than this though, I am filled with a deep resolve, unwavering purpose, and indestructible determination. This is founded by the resilience I have acquired that could take on any uphill battle that lies ahead. The battles I am destined to face. I’m now ready, willing, and clear minded. The rain, the hurt, the difficult, no longer scares me.

Resilience is the best gift I received in Korea. Hope is close behind it. My faith has always been strong, but it has been refreshed and renewed in a deeply personal way while experiencing this country.  All of these precious gifts will continue to support my quest for changing the world and are secret weapons that will enable me to push through the unimaginable.

I am now ready. Ready to see this vision through and take on the responsibility of what God has asked me to do. My foundation in Him is strong, and is unbreakable. My foundation…. "The Dean Thomas Moinet Foundation."

 
“I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Korean Sass for Summer

The traditional dress here in Korea is the Hanbok. Numerous kids will wear them on special holidays and they look absolutely precious! It is truly such a beautiful piece of clothing and is full of different colors that light up the child's face! Recently I have learned a new type of dress.....summer sass in Korea that my kids keep coming to school wearing! The girls are constantly wearing tutu's and gorgeous summer dresses with matching bows in their hair and even little purses! The head gear keeps getting more beautiful and more interesting by the month, as the parents send their little girls to school in tiara's or huge bows that look like mickey mouse ears! Here are a few pictures of my favorite ensembles and what they entail!

First, the socks: there are the adorable socks that have come out to play! So frilly, so girly, and so reminiscent of my own childhood when I would run around in the same fancy socks!

The head gear: this little girl had a veil going down her back and looked like something a bachlorette party would be wearing.

 This is a more typical look; large bow and huge headband with a bow!

 The nails: Multicolor for so many little girls, and even the boys want to partake in a little summer polish action!

The princess look: It was the little girl in yellows birthday... she wore a princess dress just 

like Bell from Beauty and the beast. Sometimes children wear princess dresses just because it's Tuesday. Way to celebrate any random old day girls!

The tutu: These little girls are rockin their tutu's which is almost an everyday occurrence!! Such fashionable dresses and so sassy for summer!  There also have been a few knee high socks.....reminds me so much of the movie Clueless!

The fancy brief: These are worn under their dresses as well as over top other shorts because they are so cute! They must be seen!

There are so many fads I can't even keep up with them! The boys dress up the same as in the States, but the girls always leave a smile on my face! The little girls look so precious, more adorable daily, and I love watching them search for compliments. "Is my dress pretty Ms.Nikki?" It couldn't be sweeter and I know my late Grandpa would have loved it.

 All I remember wearing as a child was biker shorts and girl scout shirts! I never looked as cute as them, (unless it was Easter or some other special occasion) and I definitely never matched!!! But my grandpa would always marvel at my outfit and say I looked beautiful. 

The crazy sunglasses, fancy head gear, and overall fancy appeal is so Korean. It's so Gangnam style. This is my attempt at the typical Gangnam dress:

Whatever I tried, at least at no point did I dress up like this:

The summer trends and Korean style continues to impress and surprise me. Let my education of summer life in Korea continue!
I can only be so lucky as to try to replicate an American version of this kind of sass in my fashion choices. Let the experimenting begin ;)

Naked at the Han

 This past weekend I went biking with a friend down the Han River. It's a favorite past time here in Korea and now that summer is quickly approaching it is warm enough to wear shorts, a bathing suit, and a tank top for the ride. I was hoping to get some color on my very pale skin, and was excited about our picnic we planned to have by the side of river. 

It is a very different story when you see a foreigner biking along the Han opposed to a Korean person, as our attire couldn't be more contradictory. While my friend and I biked along the river in shorts and a tank top, the Koreans passing us looked like this:

 

I mean we are talking face masks, long sleeves, pants, gloves, and sunglasses! I couldn't even see their eyes! But they want nothing to do with the sun that is beating down on them, as it would cause too much judgment. (The whiter the skin the higher class you are assumed to be a part of here in Korea, so dark skin is frowned upon.) All I could think was, 'Aren't you SO HOT under there? I am sweating in my tank top, let alone if I had gloves and long sleeves on!"

Nevertheless, we kept riding along the path smiling and laughing at how little we were wearing in comparison, and enjoying the hot sun on our skin. That is one of the best things, sunshine seeping into your body, and it makes me the happiest! I couldn't imagine not being allowed to indulge in it.  The bike ride was entertaining as I had a few people laughing and taking pictures of my shorts....

I have not had time to buy any normal shorts yet for summer, so I wore these funny ones that have the Korean flag on my rear end, and so there were a few comments like 'Go Korea' made on the bike ride from fellow riders whizzing past me. It was hilarious to say the least when someone asked me to turn around so they could take a picture of my butt. (didn't expect that)\

 

We got to our picnic spot and laid out our blanket and got out our snacks. We looked around at the array of colorful tents surrounding us and all of the Korean people staying out of the sun by relaxing inside of them. It is a known thing to go 'camping' here in Korea so many people come to the Han River for just this reason. Camping consists of bringing your tent, food, and games to a nice area and usually is a daytime activity, not overnight. Its wonderful for the kids and many of my students love to go! But of course, no one hangs out in the sunshine.  

Well, we had been biking for over an hour, and were very hot. So we spread out our blanket, took off our tank tops, and laid in the sunshine with bathing suit tops and shorts on. A few people gave a whistle, we had plenty of stares, but we did it anyway. It was the first time it really felt like summer, because I could totally relax in the sunshine, bathing suit and all! Never would I have thought my friend and I would be the only people taking advantage of this top notch tanning location 

and everyone else would be hiding in tents! 

Next to how much everyone else was wearing on this hot, 80-something, summer day, I felt like I was basically naked! But after years of sunbathing and knowing how good it feels, I couldn't quite bring myself to care. My shorts may have said 'Korea' but I'm an all American girl.