Wanted: Sister in Christ

Sometimes I feel like such a fish out of water here. I am so different than so many of my peers let alone submerged in a culture that is not my own. Sometimes I walk down a subway hall and I am surrounded by a sea of Korean people, and I am the only American person in sight. Often I am the only Christian in a room, or the only one over the age of 25, but it usually doesn’t get to me. Today it did.

You see, I have been so incredibly blessed in the States to have amazing sisters in Christ around me. I have gone on mission trips, met these amazing ladies, and can call them whenever I am need of someone who understands my thoughts and actions because they understand my faith.  They can help me make the right choices based on the Bible and hold me accountable for living how He wants me too. Having these people to call on and go and visit at a moment’s notice is so invaluable. I unfortunately do not have that here in Seoul. 

Now, don’t misunderstand what I am saying here. I have some of the best friends I could have imagined here in Seoul. They are there for me whenever I need them and I can call on them for anything from running to a nearby café with me for a bite to eat, to an emergency trip to the doctor while I’m crying my eyes out in pain. They have been nearby for crisis and for mundane activities. They even ask me about church and my bible study group, which they DO NOT have to do. So I know they care deeply for me. But there is something to be said about having an honest conversation about the Lord on a regular basis. 

The only times I can do that now, is when I am skyping with my Mom. I’m not going to make one of my non-Christian friends uncomfortable by trying to speak to them about things we do not agree on.  I have been praying for God to send me a sister in Christ so I can have someone to speak to about those things here, but so far that prayer has not been answered. I am learning more and more DAILY, how it is to be alone in your faith and have only God to depend on for spiritual guidance, which is very tough. I have to constantly check my own behaviors and take time to figure out how to face my problems the way that Jesus would want me too. I am basically WWJD’ing all alone with no one to bounce ideas off of. 

 

I am truly walking in Him, solo. 

Maybe this is how He wants it. No God-fearing man in my life or girlfriends to turn to when life happens. Maybe this is supposed to prepare me for anything that comes across my path, making me stronger and stronger by myself. Maybe…..but it’s quite hard to do alone. Sometimes I wish He would stop teaching me so many hard lessons and just throw me a bone every now and then.

 

But for now, I will continue to walk proudly in His light. Unaccompanied, alone, solo. I’m going to keep praying for a sister in Christ to help me muddle through this crazy life here in Seoul though, and try not to get discouraged when no one shows up. Hoping for the best, and trying to find comfort in my uniqueness. After all, when it comes to fish out of water they have two choices; die or get back in the water and swim. It’s hard to do on your own, but you’ve got to fight the current, fight the wave of frustration that comes with feeling alone.  Solitude is sometimes where you hear God better anyway.