The Strength in Weakness

Today I decided I really needed to get away from my little bubble of teachers and familiar faces, so I headed into Seoul to begin my day with church. I have a saying here with one of my friends that every now and then I have a ‘Sunday’. Basically this day of the week has been the day when life slows down and so life catches up to me, which often leaves me reflective, often sad, and with a lot on my mind. Sometimes ‘Sundays’ are not in fact on Sundays, but the meaning of the day will be the same for me. So if I am being quiet and seem preoccupied, my friend will sometimes ask me, ‘Is today a Sunday?’

I woke up feeling like today would very much be this kind of day, so going into church I was prepared for an emotional service. Well sure enough, the music choices were songs that were very close to my heart and when we got to a song that I have learned since being abroad, Cornerstone, the lump in my throat became too big to ignore. The song lyrics ring so true and are so powerful about how Jesus is the cornerstone in your life and how he is the only good thing on the Earth. It was one of those moments where all the crap from the past few weeks, all the lies people have told me, all the mean and ignorant things that I have heard just caught up to me, and I knew that I could let it go because I was in his presence now. As I finished singing the song, voice broken from being choked up and tears falling freely, I felt all the bitterness and anger begin to lift off of me. Of course I reached for a tissue to clean myself up before the song closed and the sermon began.  

As powerful as the worship was, the sermon was equally as impactful. We had a pastor speak about the power in our weaknesses. Basically he spoke about how God allows us to be broken at times and allows moments of weakness to overtake our lives because it is then that we let Him take over. It is then that we lean on Him for strength instead of thinking we can make it alone. When we are weak, our God is strong for us. This kind of brokenness is such a blessing and weakness should be treasured, as we are so much closer to God in these moments. So why do we often hide our weaknesses, and why are we ashamed of them? Why do we put on a mask daily pretending we are just fine? Why are we afraid to show our weaknesses when it is through them that we can testify about God’s greatness?

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9

Well, this message made me think a lot about the brokenness and sadness that lingers inside of me. I have so many things that I do not tell people about because I am not OK with the fact that I am not ‘over’ them. I constantly pray for God to make me whole again and not continually burdened due to past difficult circumstances that I have endured. But it is because of my burdens, my brokenness, my weakness that I am constantly in prayer to Him….that I am so close to Him….that I am growing in my faith with Him. So why am I so eager to move out of this phase which is clearly a blessing in my walk with Christ? Sure it is painful, and hard on a daily basis, but I am staying deeply connected with the light of the world because of this brokenness. Through every trial, every difficult day, I remember who I worship, who I am striving to be more like, and ‘keeping my eyes on the prize that God has called me heavenward.’ There is an immense amount of strength in my weaknesses, so I’ve decided I’m in no rush to get rid of them. I will choose to treasure them instead.

“My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus’ name.

When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on his unchanging grace.

In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.

Christ alone, Cornerstone. Weak made strong in the Saviors love. Through the storm, he is Lord, Lord of all.

Through the storm, he is Lord, Lord of all.”