Clear skies ahead

Everybody has struggles and tough times in their lives, which they will admit has made them into who they are. The trials, the fears, and days you cry in the fetal position on the floor, they all make you stronger and make you into someone new. When you are going through these moments it's so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's there. And when you do the work, the hard emotional and physical work to get through the tough moments in your life, that light get's brighter. I have always known that light was there and have seen it coming, but wondered if I would ever really feel like I was back in the light and out of the darkness of my trials and tribulations. You always hear about people who are thankful for their tough times because of the blessings that have come out of them. I have always known that would be true one day, but never wholeheartedly or genuinely felt that way. I wondered when and if that day would ever come.

Well, today I felt it. It's here, and I'm truly so happy about all the things I have gone through over the past few years. 

I am reading a book called 'Sun Stands Still' and it's all about having a vision that God has put on your heart to help change the world and help you to reach people for His kingdom. After talking with peers about this book and hearing concerns from others about IF and HOW God could make such huge dreams truly come true in your life, it clicked. Because of the deep pain, rock bottom sadness that I have felt, and conviction that God put on my heart in those moments, I have no doubt in my mind that he WILL and CAN move mountains. I have been in the place where he has put an insurmountable vision in front of me and he has guided me through each step to climb and conquer that vision. I have seen him show up out of no where by sending me people I needed to make this vision come true, sending me money, offering clear guidance, or sending me someone to encourage me and pray for me to venture on. It was literally like the things I was in desperate need of were falling from the sky; I was fulfilling his will for my life and he was showing up to make it happen when I was falling short.

My decision to obey God's vision for me to open a nonprofit for medically fragile children seemed absolutely ludicrous, but no where in my loins did it seem impossible. I was watching God show up, over and over again. How blessed am I to have been a witness to that? I would have never been able to witness this if he had not taken away a beautiful baby I loved who was only 19 months old, and if he had not let anger and frustration build up inside of me. That pain that lingered in me, for what seemed like a century, is now my driving force and my reassurance of God's plan for me. Without the pain, the conviction would not be there. Without the conviction, there would be no fight. The fight in me is based on faith. And God is faithful, always. He is filling me with hope, love, and an intense amount of resilience to ward off anything that will defer me from his plan. I know he will follow this vision through.

Finally, I am genuinely grateful for the pain. Finally I am happy I went through it. Finally I am walking completely in the light appreciating the darkness I had to experience. For it is through that darkness I learned how to lean on him for guidance, saw his power, and saw his amazing love.Through this darkness grew such a light inside of me, knowing that the only hope in this world is in Him.

Having gone through the storm, never felt so good as it does today.

I know Who goes before me 

I know Who stands behind  

The God of angel armies  

Is always by my side  

The One who reigns forever  

He is a Friend of mine  

The God of angel armies 

Is always by my side