Crushin' on you

It's a funny thing when you get a crush on someone. In elementary school little girls will push and kick the boy that they like, and sometimes end up getting in trouble for it. They show they like the boy by being silly or mean to them, and trying to sit next to them at lunch time. Sometimes you will get a 'boyfriend' which basically just means you have a lunch buddy for the year. But mostly there are a bunch of little girls running around hitting and chasing boys with them not having a clue that that means the are loved.

When you get into middle school and you have a crush on a boy you end up passing them notes back and forth with silly things about what the teacher is wearing or how bored you are. Eventually you get the courage to pass a note that says, "Do you like me? Circle your answer, YES NO MAYBE."

In high school you are just coming into your own as a woman, so when you have a crush on a boy you decide you have to get their attention with your looks. You fix up your hair, fix your nails, wear a super cute and trendy outfit and get your friends to ask him if he thinks your cute. There is so much back and forth between your girl group of friends and the boys group of friends until you both finally admit you like each other. Then there may even be the awkward moment that your friends say, "Come on just give him a kiss!" And you get your first kiss.....it's super weird, and your not sure how you feel about it, but you know you looked soooo cute in your new outfit doing it!

When your older, it's miles more complicated. You have your past, present, and future to somehow throw into the mix as you are painfully aware of all the choices you are making and how they affect your life......down to the boy you choose to date. So you could say with all that weighing on my mind, to have a crush as an adult has been far and few between for me. I don't date very often, and usually don't see the boy after the first date if I did give him a chance. So to have the whole butterflies situation going on is a familiar but long overdue sensation for me. It's been literally years since I have had a crush on someone, and I feel like a silly little high school girl again.

Now this silly crush may go as quickly as it has come, but I'm holding onto the feeling as long as I can. If it does fade, who knows how long it will be until I have it again, after all?! For once I'm going to stop being critical, stop worrying, and just smile about my silly little crush and the silly boy who somehow broke through the wall I usually have up. I'm taking it day by day, and just seeing where this crush leads me.

One reason is because if I slipped him a note "Do you like me? Circle your answer, YES NO MAYBE?", he would circle YES.....twice. <3